According to the Los Angeles Times' "Awards Tracker" blog, the TLC network has nominated its television-reality series "Sarah Palin's Alaska" for consideration in four Emmy Awards categories: cinematography, picture editing, music composition and best reality program. Before the show can be called an official "Emmy nominee," however, a first round of voting by academy members must be completed to choose from all the initial entries. The awards gala will be held in September, and the nominees should be chosen sometime in July.
These people must be joking. Sarah Palin's Alaska was an excruciatingly bad reality show. If they had focused on the beauty of Alaska instead of Sarah Palin's attempts at doing anything and everything, had left out her ungracious mocking of various people (including a neighbour and Michelle Obama), if it had not been narrated by that screechy voice, if her classless family had not been part of it, well, if it had been a completely different show, perhaps they could have had an honest shot at an award for cinematography. Alaska lends itself to some very dramatic and breathtaking shots.
Sarah Palin's show was in very bad taste, dishonest, and ultimately boring. Alaska was insulted in this stupid series, as was our intelligence.
Someone had moved in next door to the Palins. There was a camera shot of him, his face pixellated out. Apparently he was writing an exposé of the lady of the house. “I think it’s an invasion of our privacy and I don’t like it,” chirrupped Sarah Palin in that fingernails-on-a-blackboard voice of hers. “How would you feel if some dude who you knew was out to get you moved in 15 feet away from your kids?” I suspect I’d probably do something sane and rational like invite a camera crew into my home and make an access-all-areas reality TV series. That’d teach snoops to mind their own business.
Leave my children alone!
The series has now canoed across the Atlantic and taken up residence on one of those channels whose name sounds like an off-road vehicle. Its eight episodes find Palin experiencing the wilds of the state - hunting, shooting, fishing, stopping boys from sneaking upstairs to impregnate her daughters.
Various people called things like Truck and Trog, Troop or Trib or Troll wandered about, walk-on players in this risible woman’s delusional pitch for power. Alaska looked very fetching though. It was a bit like being on a spectacular holiday marred only by the worst travelling companion imaginable. Zoe Williams, from The Guardian:
I was looking forward to Sarah Palin's Alaska, but freed from her political brief of standing on the far-right talking rubbish, she is just this incredible force for boredom. It's like a magic trick; she can take an observation that is already inherently boring, then make it 10 times more boring with unenlightening statistics, a Newspeak vocabulary and this ghastly cheerleader delivery.
When this was shown in the US, lefties tried valiantly to stir some controversy out of her proximity to a bear. The truth is, there's nothing to see but a tedious, narrow-minded, pedantic, uncurious person. And some snow.
They don't say anything we didn't already know, but it's refreshing to read such candid opinions about our Sarah...
In October 2008 Jans was more than critical of Sarah Palin’s small world view when he criticised her as someone “who believes that climate change isn't our fault; is dead set against a woman's right to choose; has supported creationism in the schools; and was prayed over by a visiting minister at her church to shield her against witchcraft.” In the Salon article he describes Palin as a...
“...poseur, a genuine Alaskan -- of a kind. The kind that flowed north in the wake of the '70s oil boom, Bible Belt politics and attitudes under arm, and transformed this state from a free-thinking, independent bastion of genuine libertarianism and individuality into a reactionary fundamentalist enclave with dollar signs in its eyes and an all-for-me mentality.”
Above all, Jans believes that Palin does not represent all Alaskans – characterising the typical people who voted for her as the people who...
“...forage at McDonald's and Safeway in their hunter camouflage, and make regular wilderness forays up and down the state's limited highway grid with ATVs, snowmobiles and airboats in tow behind their oversize trucks. Sometimes I imagine I can hear the roar echoing across the state, all the way to the upper Kobuk, where easements for the highways of tomorrow are already staked out across the tundra.”
In the 2008 article Jans exposes Palin for what she is, an opportunist who adapts and changes herself according to the winds of change. He pokes at her affected change of accent during the election campaign and ponders that the McCain campaign “has hijacked our state for political purposes, much to the chagrin of the tens of thousands of Alaskans who loathe what she stands for.” I would say that he has her pegged and clearly knows her well. Be sure to read the entire article.
Yesterday Nick Jans wrote an article for USA Today titled “What Palin’s show says about us” in which he claims that “the Palin that emerges just doesn’t live up to her backdrop. You don’t have to be a mountain man to see past the thin veil of smoke and mirrors.” He confirms that the series presents Palin as something that she is not and that as far as many Alaskans are concerned Sarah Palin’s Alaska is not the success that it has been touted to be. It is true that Palin, as many have noted, is all rhetoric and no substance, but mainly Jans astutely observes:
“To be sure, packaging and style have often trumped substance in American democracy. From the days of literal stump speeches and catchy but empty political slogans such as "Tippecanoe and Tyler, too!" politicians have vaulted into power on the shoulders of charisma and sound bite, projected to the widest possible audience by the best available media. Indeed,Barack Obama’s's own ascendance had less to do with his scant political résumé than his ability to light up a teleprompter. You could argue that Palin's mercurial, tweet-propelled rise is just the latest manifestation of a time-honored tradition. However, Sarah Palin's Alaska seems to have ushered in a new and troubling era in our democracy: the point where a burgeoning cultural fascination with reality TV and celebrity worship intersected mainstream politics, and the three merged into one. Since orchestrated reality is about all anyone can expect from Palin — who is uniquely unavailable in unfiltered form to the "lamestream media" — we have no choice but to glean what we can from the offered narrative.”
His point is that Palin, despite the “comedy or errors”...
...displayed by her in the show, is being offered up as an “Alaskan frontierswoman” in much the same way as she was presented as a “hockeymom” during the election and that this factor is a charge against American politics today. He closes with the thought:
“This would all be laughable, harmless television if that's where this story ended. Yet this show and its veneered presentation of Palin is sadly emblematic of American politics today.
Sarah Palin's Alaska is just back story rather than substance. But when our candidates can also produce poll-tested commercials, trot out ghost-written websites and deliver telepromptered speeches — all financed by unlimited special interest money — Americans are essentially casting votes for fictional characters. This is not an indictment of one Sarah Palin. It's an indictment of the system.”
We live in an era of mass communications; information can be found easily and readily. It’s almost too simple and as a result we can become bogged down in images and sounds which ultimately may lead to confusion as we struggle to make sense of “what it all means” and essentially what impact the information we have available to us has on our own well being. Politicians understand and frequently manipulate this confusion. Some, like Sarah Palin, (or more likely the people pulling her strings) are more shrewd and adept at using media to even further conflate this confusion and as a result they are free to construct their own narratives, regardless of whether they are true portrayals or not.
As a former Governor, who may or may not have Presidential ambitions, Palin’s entry into the reality TV field has further muddied the waters between what is real and what is fabrication or mere embroidery. The message seems to be that it doesn’t matter that she is not a policy wonk because coming from Alaska she is not a part of the Washington elite and so substance of that kind does not matter.
Television and the internet have largely replaced newspapers as the go to sources for information and entertainment. Politicians know that their designed and tested commercials which influence public opinion play a significant role in the outcome of elections.
Americans during an election cycle are bombarded by political soundbites on a constant, seemingly endless basis, paid for by special interest groups who have the most money and can vie for the most coveted spots during the most watched programmes. Sarah Palin’s Alaska recorded against the sublime and magnificent backdrop that is Alaska is littered with her political mashings which are discharged at regular intervals and seem to last for approximately twenty seconds – just like a commercial for her political view. Those twenty second fragments are important as Palin understands that she has just that amount of time in which to get her point across without losing her viewers attention.
That she is as subtle as a proverbial sledgehammer does not matter because her aim is to be controversial. To guarantee her views are discussed. In part, Palin employed her reality TV series as a free political commercial. The series may have won just as many floating people to her cause as it has isolated others but in the end I doubt whether such new support can be translated into effective votes as such people are fickle and not likely to expand Palin’s support base.
Sarah Palin's "twenty second soundbites" are missing the mark as the public becomes more tired of her "proverbial sledgehammer" and her frequent gaffes. The concept employing a "fictional" reality show for political gain may be an "innovation", but it's a failure for Sarah Palin.
As the series Sarah Palin's Alaska continues, with seven episodes aired and a bumper episode to go, many questions were raised, about the narrative and about what we see on the screen. Of course the whole series was planned beforehand and each episode focuses on members of Sarah's family, always showing her in the best possible light (according to Sarah and her fantasies about herself and her family).
We saw Sarah climbing Denali, fishing, kayaking, shooting anything that moves, hunting, riding ATVs, driving her own car... or have we?
Some of her driving raised questions, as Piper was sitting in the backseat without a seatbelt, piping in, criticizing Sarah's driving. Have a look at these screenshots and ask yourself: "Where's the camera?" (The first two shots are from the first leg of the day's travels and Piper was sitting in the front, wearing a seatbelt.)
The idea behind any film, fiction or reality, is to make the viewer forget that there are cameras and great number of people involved in each scene. Are we to believe that there are miniature cameramen especially recruited to film driving scenes? This is how it's usually done:
The car to be filmed is mounted on a low towing dolly and pulled by a camera truck. For safety reasons, there may be troopers' cars in front and behind the car with the "star."
Alternatively, these contraptions may be used, but the car is then towed by a truck and the cameras operated remotely:
Inside the camera truck there's a computarized monitor and the director has full control of each camera:
There we have it: a "natural" driving scene. Piper was told to look bored and say something about Sarah's "driving," so it would tie in with Sarah's little narrative about Piper having changed and no longer being enthusiastic about spending time with mom.
Bear in mind that there is a lot of waiting around for all the gear to be set up and any scene has a number of takes. By the time Piper managed to get her lines right she was probably very bored indeed...
Whether Sarah's car or the giant RV were towed or not, the fact remains that the whole contraption is still a collection of moving vehicles and seatbelts should have been worn. Can you imagine what could have happened if a moose had dashed in front of the whole convoy?
The point of this technical post about a trivial driving scene is to highlight the unreality of this series. There's nothing wrong with using all the techniques available to film makers in order to achieve a seamless result and grab the attention of the viewers without any distractions.
But the whole narrative is dishonest. This series was put together to show Sarah's version of reality. She wanted to show that there aren't any challenges she won't embrace. Any outdoor pursuit, any highly specialized trade (wow!), Sarah can do it. She assigned herself the task of protecting Kate Gosselin and her brood because she's a sharp shooter. Kate left the camping site because that was her script. Kate was the vulnerable city girl against Sarah's fearless frontier woman. She created a tale of hunting in a remote spot, where only one person could be transported on the plane at any one time. The crew with all their paraphernalia must have teleported to that spot, yes? Willow's boyfriend "sneaked" upstairs, past the whole crew, because he was told to do it. Willow smashed Piper face into the cake because... you guessed, she was told to do just that. Willow's car "crash" was all fiction, probably filmed with a double.
In the unscripted bits, Sarah Palin used her "travelogue" to issue a number of jabs aimed at her neighbour, Michelle Obama, bloggers... the list is long. These are some of the moments that can be taken at face value - Sarah unplugged. That's how she unwittingly confirmed the National Enquirer stories about her unruly children.
Another thing she tried to do was attempt to correct her "refudiate" gaffe. She claims that she intended to type "d" and hit "f" instead. What was Sarah trying to type? Redudiate? Repupiate? The fact is, she committed the "typo" on Hannity days before she tweeted it. His voice after she said it barely disguises his embarrassement:
I could go on, but I'm not going to analize each episode from a technical perspective or dissect the narrative of each week's episode. All I can say is that what Sarah Palin chose to show as a normal family, with their troubles and tribulations, was scripted and acted by her prop family and other unsuspecting incidental actors (cousin Matthew, for one) to make her appear normal and loving in her family life and a superwoman the rest of the time. The only real thing is Sarah Palin in full narcissistic glory and nobody seems to have attempted to stop her. Maybe they tried and failed.
All this idiotic make-believe with the beautiful state of Alaska in the background - just another useful prop.
UPDATE
Some readers pointed out that the driving scene could have been filmed using the same type of set-up as in the program Cash Cab, where tiny cameras are mounted where needed. It's very possible that TLC did the scene this way, in which case we have to assume that Sarah was really driving while being filmed, not concentrating a 100% and had her 9 year old daughter sitting in the back, unrestrained. It looks bad either way.
The post may not show exactly how it was filmed, but it's an illustration of how unreal the things we see on TV on a daily basis really are. It's an encouragement not to take the end product at face value, especially when the narrative is so dishonest.
Unfortunately, there's hardly anything left on TV that can be taken at face value. Even "live" news reports can be stage-managed these days, but perhaps that's a subject for another post. .
This week, we have a guest reviewer, my dad, who Bella calls "Papahio," because he lives in Ohio. He is visiting for the holidays. He is a card-carrying Republican, watches Glenn Beck, is part of the religious right, often complains government is "too big" and thinks Sarah Palin is hot. He falls within the 22% of the population that would consider voting for her for president. I know all this, but I confirm it once again before we start. He likes Sarah. "She is tough."
I should also say while I disagree with him on nearly everything political, I don't think my dad is stupid. He is well educated and travels a lot. He reads the newspaper and Internet news every day. He knows what is going on in the world and is very plugged in. But since he watches Fox News and listens to Rush Limbaugh, I do consider him misinformed. He considers me misguided. We mostly just agree to disagree.
And so we begin. On this week's episode of "Sarah Hates Treehuggers," raising teenagers is hard. The family will go to Afognak Island to explore the logging industry. Then Willow will learn to drive, in a race car. Excellent. Not only is my dad a Republican, he is also a former race car driver. He sees the clip and says, "there's no way that was her driving that car." I see a glimmer of hope.
Inside the Palin home, Tripp is standing on the table in his sweater PJs, and is quite possibly the world's cutest baby. Willow wants to go to the DMV. Todd says "later" and says that the older kids make more noise than the babies. Sarah says raising teenagers is way harder than raising babies. Piper wakes up and comes downstairs. Sarah says she needs her to help wrap presents for the families at the logging camp. Piper looks at Sarah like "are you crazy, bitch?" But after much prodding, both she and Willow help.
Todd is a "motor head and has always wanted to check out the Kodiak Island raceway." Since it is near the loggers, they will stop there too. Sarah blabs on and on about how it will be good for Willow to tag along so Sarah can help her experience as much as she can to help her find her path in life. Since her mom is worth upwards of $25 million, I doubt she will become a logger or a race car driver, but I bite my tongue.
Trig is standing on the landing of the stairwell looking through the glass and Todd asks him, "where's your muscles?" Trig lifts up his arms and flexes his biceps. SO CUTE! Bella says she loves Trig.
They leave, saying goodbye to Piper, Trig and Tripp at the door. I say, "Piper is staying home alone to watch both boys!?" Bella points out there was an "old grandma lady" sitting on the stairs. I rewind and see that it is that same nanny we saw with Bristol at Target last summer is there. Whatever, it wouldn't have surprised me if Piper were left in charge.
On the drive there, Sarah says, "OH JEEZ!" and then explains the whole refudiate incident. "I pressed an F instead of a D" No, Sarah, you pressed an F instead of a P. God, she STILL can't get it right. On her own damn show! (I laugh out loud because as I type refudiate, it gets underlined with a red line. Thank you, Steve Jobs.) She says, with extreme venom in her voice, that "the English language is a living, breathing, evolving art. I can invent a word." Dad says, "No, you can't. That means you are changing the rules."
Clip: Sarah Palin talks about the "refudiate" tweet
I point out that first she says it was a typing error, then in the next breath, says she did it on purpose to invent a word and evolve our language. A great example of a Sarah contradiction. My dad just nods silently. Todd and Willow do the same. They have no interest in what Sarah is whining about.
They get in a small plane to head off to logging camp. Dad says, "I wonder how many old Beavers are out there like that." Thinking he is talking about Sarah, I look at him like, WTF? He explains that the beaver is the plane. LOL! Oops.
At the logging camp, Sarah is wearing a shirt that says "Fight Like a Girl." She is amazed at how beautiful this part of Alaska is. The hosts pick them up and show them the cook house. Tim is the logging camp chef. Sarah tells him "Willow is available to help." Willow is texting on her iPhone. Probably something along the lines of "My mom is nuts. Send help!" They are led to a junky cabin that Sarah says is "beeee-oooooh-ti-ful." Willow has to stay behind while Sarah & Todd go to the logging site. Sarah tells her to stay off her phone and help out Tim. Dad says, "boy, Willow sure is a gorgeous girl." Bella agrees. I still prefer Bristol, but can't disagree that Willow is attractive too.
The lumberjack guy teaches Sarah how to use a chainsaw. "Stepping into any area where there is a potential to get hurt makes me nervous," she says. The logger says, "when you hit a knot, that chainsaw will come right back at ya and hit you in the face. A chainsaw can take your life faster than a Colt 45." I say, "Oh please let that happen." Dad is not amused. He gives me that, "I raised you better than that" look.
Sarah cuts down the tree and says "that was stressful!" Then the fallen tree needs to be cut into smaller pieces to be shipped. Sarah wants to do this part too. She says, "this is really hard work. I was ready to go home after cutting down one tree." There is a variation of this in every episode. It is hard work, I wanted to quit, I have respect for those who do it. It is a metaphor for her life, though I don't think she realized it. The logger asks her to sign his chainsaw and she does. He says he is proud of it and will retire that chainsaw. Dad says that Sarah is "continually euphoric." He means this in a positive way. I tell him we call that "manic" on the blog. Bella looks at us and seems nervous that we might fight.
They pick up Willow to go replant trees. She is explaining that trees are a renewable resource so the industry is great for America. Willow looks bored. "She is always trying to convince her kids to go along," says Dad. He says that my sisters and I were very adventurous and never had to be convinced to go along with our parents.
They are replanting saplings when Sarah calls Willow over and Willow ignores her. Sarah says that sometimes Willow has selective hearing and that as a parent you have to remember that you are not your teenager's friend, you are their parent. She "wants her kids to obey and to make the right decisions, so you have to be a parent first." I know my dad agrees with the "obey" philosophy, so I leave it alone. He does too, but asks what type of vernacular that is. I say "annoying." Bella laughs.
Sarah takes Willow to the beach for a mother-daughter chat. Sarah says that she has to get Willow through the next 10 years without rolling her eyes. I remember, during the filming of this very series, that it was SARAH who rolled her eyes at the teacher in Homer. Guess you can't ask your kids to "obey" when you set such a bad example, can you Sarah? She tells Willow, "you will learn something from these people! You know what wood is used for?!" Willow tells her that she is concentrating on skipping rocks, so stop talking. Sarah says she has to help Tim in the mess hall so she learns some job skills because "what will she do if she can't cook food for herself and others?" Willow says, "frozen microwave food." I think "breaking and entering" -- which Willow was involved in just weeks before this was filmed. Sarah says, "I am throwing away your cell phone. You are impossible." Of course she does not actually do this.
Sarah says the number one one lesson she wants to impart upon Willow is work ethic. Before I can stop myself, I yell out, "Bitch, you quit your JOB!" Dad says that is a good point and asks, "if she gets elected president, will she quit halfway through?" I tell him to remember that when it is time to vote in the Republican primaries.
Sarah tells Willow to step out of her comfort zone and Willow rolls her eyes. HA! Sarah says that Willow is going to drive her crazy. Willow says her mom is driving her crazy, but "I guess that is her job."
On the commercial, my dad says "You have to admit, she'll try anything. She's a real man's woman." I say "you think she's REALLY like that?" And he says, "yes, she wasn't squeamish around the fish." I say, "wait just a minute...you have watched this show before?!" He admits that he has. He explains that he could never see my mother cutting down trees like Sarah. Fair point. But my mother isn't trying to make money from a fake political ad reality show.
Sarah kisses Willow goodbye and Willow has a look on her face that says, "Mom, you never kiss me. What the hell are you doing!?" Sarah tells her to stay off her cell phone and help out in the mess hall. See, I knew she wouldn't really throw it away. Sarah = no follow through. Willow, who just stares at her, always looks guilty.
Sarah runs the shovel log machine and she says she she is scared because she has no clue what she is doing, and it looks like a very expensive piece of equipment. Gee, just like running the government of a large state, or say, a country! She is able to run the machine and move logs. She has to swing the log onto the pile and jokes, "I'm not much of a swinger here, so I want to go slow." I remember that the Wasilla rumor mill said she and Todd used to be exactly that -- swingers. Ironically, right at this moment, Dad notices that Sarah is not wearing a wedding ring. I tell him she threw it in lake Lucille.
Sarah calls Willow on the CB to check on her. Willow says she didn't help Tim cook at all yet, but she did go to the mess hall to eat. LOL. Sarah tells her again to go help. On the drive back, Sarah says, "all those conservationists write me nasty letters because I support an industry like this. They write their nasty little letters with their little pencils on their pretty little stationery without ever realizing where that pencil and paper came from -- wood." Dad says, "that was pretty condescending. She has no national political potential at all." Wow. I feel all hopey and changey inside.
Clip: Sarah Palin talks about the "conservationists"
Todd drives a boat to move the logs out of the water onto cargo ships. He explains that the controls were awkward. My dad says, "that is the first time I've ever heard him speak." LOL! Now Sarah has to try it and rams it into the log pile. They return to the camp, walk into the mess hall, and find Willow is in the kitchen, chopping lettuce. "Holy Jeez," says Sarah. She is very proud because Willow was actually "hearing" her. "Willow is not happy at all," says Bella.
They go to the recreation center at the camp and play a game of Eskimo Bingo to distribute the gifts. Basically, there are 10 minutes on the clock and you have to roll dice. Whomever rolls doubles gets to pick a gift. Sarah is wearing a coat that says, "Sarah Palin, always a warrior." What the hell?! I ask dad, "Doesn't her voice bug you?" He says no, not at all. Ugh.
Now they're off to Kodiak island to visit the race track. Todd takes the first lap as my dad points out how crappy the track is. "It's covered with gravel!" Willow gets in her car and he says, "what junk." They are going to compare lap times. The person with the fastest lap is the winner. Todd runs a 25-second lap, then a 23-second lap and a 24-second lap. Now it is Willow's turn. She feels a bit claustrophobic. Sarah says "BE CONFIDENT!" Sarah tells Todd, "I want her to go fast. I want her her to have a competitive bone in her body, I want her to win. I want her to beat you." I want her to just let Willow be a kid and not demand that she be just like Sarah.
Sarah waves a checkered flag to get Willow to start (instead of the green flag). I did not notice, but my dad picks up on it right away. He is disgusted. Hahaha. He looks at me with astonishment, like, "how can Sarah not know the difference between racing flags?! I mean, EVERYONE knows that!!"
Willow runs a 30-second lap, and is screaming the whole time. Then a 23-second lap. I think, "man, Todd sucks!" Willow can't find the brake and drives the car into a dirt pile to stop. Dramatic music. Commercial. Bella says, "She didn't hit that hard." My dad says "and obviously she is ok because we would have heard about it if she weren't." Sarah goes on about how she couldn't bear it if one of her kids were hurt, and the mama grizzly in her came out Willow crashed. A fire truck rushes over, and people go running to help her. Inside the car, she is laughing and 100% fine. She is grinning ear to ear, which is nice to see.
They go to Frasier Lake to go bear watching. Willow actually asks the guide questions and listens to his answers. I am proud of her. She still looks like she would rather be at the mall, but at least she wants to learn.
We close on a long shot of the Palin home. I pause it on the screen and show my dad the 14-foot fence and the windows from the sports complex. He says he heard the author who moved in next door might be a creeper who wanted to spy on Sarah's kids. Oh lord, her messaging actually works.
Sarah says that she understands that the mother bear will protect her kids when they are being challenged. I assume she means buying Willow's way out of the $30,000 in damage she did to the home she broke into, partied in, and destroyed, so that Willow would not have to face criminal charges. I'm not sure the grizzly would have done the same. She says she is confident that Willow will find her way, because Track has found it, and Bristol has found it, so Willow will too. I guess that depends on your expectations for today's youth. This woman honestly just leaves EVERYTHING up to a roll of the dice.
They go home and are greeted by the two boys. Todd carries Trig inside, Sarah carries Tripp. Willow says, "Can we go to the DMV now?" Todd says they can.
The episode ends and I ask Dad, "so? What do you think?" He answers, "she is basically just an over exposed homemaker with an adventurous side." I say, "Yep, and she is not smart enough to be a politician." And he says, "No, not at all." I say, "so would you still vote for her?" Without even hesitating, he says no.
Tonight was a big night, Gaters. You know that fable about the people walking on the beach, seeing a starfish, picking it up and throwing it into the sea? The woman says, "but there are tons of starfish, you can't possibly save them all." And the man says, "but it made a difference to that one." That is what I feel like tonight. We changed one mind. It might be a drop in a very, very large bucket. But we did manage to change one (very strong) Republican mind.
The week after next week: The 2-hour finale!! (Next Sunday, January 2, is only repeats)
+++
UPDATE (by Patrick):
Many thanks to Leadfoot and her illustrious guest reviewers! ;-)
I think Leadfoot completely outdid herself again. What a pleasure to read! I am now hoping for a second series of Sarah's "self-love-fest" just so that we can read Leadfoot's reviews again.
Also many thanks to Kathleen for putting the post up while I was away.
Our trusty reader sleuth again captured the chat which was going on at Palingates during the broadcast, with 31 members online - it can be downloaded here.
What else happened?
Well, the "New York Daily News" doesn't agree with Sarah's recollection regarding the usage of her immortal creation "refudiate." It's a very good article - but it won't stop the "Sarah the saviour" personality cult which seems to be more rampant than ever, filling the alternate reality of the Palinbots.
Sarah Palin continued to punctuate many paragraphs in her books and speeches with references to God. The ex-governor, maybe-presidential-candidate could be nudging out other voices on the religious right in political influence (although she has one of its most conservative and inflammatory voices, Rev. Franklin Graham, on speed dial.)
Well...it does sound a bit different than in this tweet above, doesn't it...?
But then we have a poll at the end of the article! Halleluja! No poll is ridiculous enough that it cannot be rigged by a Palinbot! Sarah, the holy spirit of Alaska, CLEARLY is more important than the pope, isn't she? Sarah, we PRAY to you!
Last episode next week.
It anticipates the theme for 2011:
But again, Sarah Palin seems to enjoy a wild ride now and then.
Surely it's just an oversight that Ms. Palin, the former half-term governor, forgot to blast some other politician's wife, Laura Bush, four years earlier for promoting literacy. Or complaining about Hootie Owl telling kids to "Give a hoot, don't pollute."
This isn't just ridiculous, it's ridiculous and ignorant. It doesn't just ignore the serious reality that one-third of American children are overweight or obese which risks damaging diseases, like diabetes - but it presumes that the First Lady has actual governing powers, and that her issue (like ALL issues by America's First Ladies, ever) is legally binding.
It's further evidence that our national crazy, goofy uncle Ms. Palin is limited to whining. Stamp the name "Obama" on it, and she'll complain. And since she's far out of her depth with the president, she's left with snarking on his wife. Mind you, Ms. Palin is the same hypocrite who whines whenever her own family is addressed (despite herself using them as circus props) -- now she's saying that another public figure's family member is fair game. It's a dangerous game for her to play, because that ice she's skating on is painfully thin.
But then, Sarah Palin is pretty much out of her depth on everything. She bizarrely complained about President Obama because North Korea attacked South Korea, getting our "North" ally wrong in the process, while even that other famed Obama complainer, Liz Cheney, acknowledged the blame belonged on the Bush administration. She's whined about bloggers, David Letterman, Newsweek covers, being asked what she reads, and on and on.
This is a person who even complained about lack of privacy while getting paid to have her life filmed for a reality TV show.
The game now seems to turn into "Saint Sarah against virtually everyone else." Can she win it? Can she crush the competition? Will she strike down her enemies? Will she become more popular than the pope and Glenn Beck combined?
She's never been outside the U.S., except for one speech in Hong Kong and a photo op in Haiti. She told Glenn Beck that her favorite Founding Father was "All of them." She struggled to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with. She couldn't name a newspaper or magazine she read. Being able to see Russia from Alaska was the answer a clueless third-grader would give. She cowardly runs from serious interviews. She doesn't even have expertise in her sole area of self-professed "expertise" -- oil, never having actually worked in the oil industry, but serving on a state board, briefly.
She's your crazy, goofy uncle -- who your crotchety grandpa John McCain asked to be his traveling companion, shocking the relatives.
We begin today's episode of All Sarah-All The Time with a view of the ridiculous 14-ft fence, then pan across the yard to the turret, where Sarah is getting ready for a TV segment inside. Todd is helping her prepare by moving a fish on the wall behind her. He refuses to fix her hair because it is "above his pay grade." Sarah does not remind him that she now makes ALL their money, so he should probably fix her hair. She fiddles nervously under the desk. She explains that sometimes they just want to get away from the press, so today they are leaving on a two day road trip in a "big RV."
Creepy Chuck, Sally, Sarah's nephew Happy and "the next generation of Palins" -- Willow, Trig and Piper -- tag along. They are going to the Talkeetna mountains, an area the family has visited for 40 years. In the RV, Trig is listening to country music on Willow's iPhone (on speaker, not with earbuds) and dancing. He is not wearing glasses or hearing aids. And for you ear theorists, he appears to be the round-ear Trig. Sarah says it is just natural for babies to want to dance. (He is a toddler now, not a baby, but this escapes her.)
They go to the Matanuska River to go rafting. They meet up with Sarah's sister and brother and the river guide, whose name, I kid you not, is Mudflap. They all don life vests except Todd, who has volunteered to stay behind with Trig. Piper falls in the water before she even gets in the boat. She says she "hates this" while Sarah laughs at her and says, "hehehehe, she's already scared." She adds, "do not use his (Mudflap's) mullet as a towel." Bella laughs at this.
Mudflap tells Sarah she has to sit up front. She says she'd "rather be in the back of the boat and let someone else have to do more of the work." SHOCKER. You don't say, Sarah. But she decided to accept the challenge. They go down the rapids while Piper screams bloody murder and Mudflap keeps yelling "I love my life." I like Mudflap!
Sarah's nephew Heath (Heath Heath?!) and Sally meet up with them at the end of the river ride. Sarah says it was much more physically challenging than she expected, but it was "Awweeeeesooooome." Oh lord, it is hereditary!
Back in the RV, Piper and Sarah play with Trig. Sarah says, "Trig is the light of my life. People are jerks about him being born with Downs Syndrome. 85 to 90 percent of babies are aborted with Downs Syndrome. They can have their opinion, but we have ours." Okay, first of all, Sarah, NOBODY has EVER been a jerk about Trig being born with Downs Syndrome. We all adore Trig. People are "jerks" because you LIE about having given birth to him and act like this big martyr saint of a woman when you are nothing but a LIAR. When you had to make a choice about a pregnancy -- you chose abortion at least once, possibly twice. So you are NOT some big pro-life hero. You are a phony. Second of all, when you said "85 to 90 percent of babies are aborted with Downs Syndrome," -- I am pretty sure you actually meant that 85 to 90 percent of babies who have Downs Syndrome are aborted. That is completely different.
While she is talking about Trig being soooooo important to her, he is standing on the seat of the RV, dancing and looking out the window while it is barreling down the highway. No seat belt, no car seat.
Sarah vacuums the RV and yells at all the kids that their feet are in her way. Willow tells Sarah that Andy is oh his way. Sarah says, "Willow!, did you double check with dad?!" What, Sarah has no authority? Willow says she misses him and that he is funny and she is excited to see him. They should have animated in some sparkly hearts floating all around her head, the way she is beaming. She tells Todd that Andy is coming, and he ignores her. The kids in the RV all giggle. Bella giggles. Willow and Andy ARE actually kind of cute together.
Sarah says, "where are the s'mores ingredients? This is in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day that we should not have dessert." WHAT!? What a bitch.
One hour later, Todd is starting a fire when Andy drives up. Sarah says that she gave Willow permission to have Andy camp with them, as long as he would help out. She says they "give their kids a lot of freedom because they trust their kids and want to make sure they are on the right path, they are gonna make mistakes, we all make mistakes." Yes, that was all one sentence. Take a breath, woman! She says she "feels sorry for some of her kids because their mistakes are played out on the front page of the National Enquirer which really SUCKS for them." I don't even know where to begin. First, you give your kids "freedom" because you are lazy. Look what happened when you gave Bristol freedom! Did you learn nothing?! Everybody knows you can't trust teenagers! Second, YOU put your daughter's pregnancy in the headlines to hide your lies about Trig. YOU did that to her. Third, nobody who is almost 50 and wants to run for president should say "sucks."
Andy and Willow carve their names into a log. Piper burns her marshmallow, whines, and throws it in the fire. Sarah gets a text from Happy's mom and reads it aloud to everyone in the RV, "she says she loves you, and to shower, brush your teeth, and put on deodorant." Willow sneers at him. Um, she probably meant for you to tell him that privately, Sarah. God this woman is rude and obtuse.
This morning they are ready to "kick up some mud on the family's four wheelers." They are going to their friend Bones' old abandoned mining camp. Sarah says it will be "nice to get the heck away from idiots and bloggers who do not like our family." What the hell?! She is like 10 times meaner and more bitter in this episode than she was in the others. I didn't even think that was possible. Why doesn't she get the fact that people don't just dislike other people for no reason?! They dislike those who quit, lie, misrepresent, fake pregnancies, use children as props, etc., etc.
She calls Piper, "Piper Diaper" as they take off on the ATVs. Bella says, "that was mean!" Sarah says four-wheelers area common mode of transportation since only 30% of Alaska is accessible by roads. They run into some people shooting clay pigeons and Sarah just has to take a shot. This time she hits it on the first try (yah, right), and yells "I shattered it!"
They arrive at Bones' place and he pretends not to know her. He says he didn't know they were coming. He is wearing a hat that says "Sarah Palin Governor" -- nope -- time to get a new hat, Bones. They go panning for gold and Chuck says on a good day you can find an ounce of gold, but, Sarah adds, "you have to work for it." And there it is, folks. Every. Single. Show.
She again says that they are the "nerd family of America" as they go hunting for fossils. (Sarah, you know nerds are different from grifter hillbillies, right?!) They find one, and Chuck Jr. says it became extinct with the dinosaurs and is 62 to 350 million years old. No wheels are seen spinning in Sarah's head to indicate she realizes her Earth time line does not match up with Chuck Jr.'s. She says she keeps the fossils that they find, and her "thrill" would be to have them cover the whole exterior siding of her house.
We head over to Creepy Chuck's House of Horrors. He talks about the antler mountain and how proud he is of it. Tripp is there (but no Bristol). Tripp hands a bottle to Trig, and says "baba?" and Trig hands it back. Awwwwwwwwwww. The two boys are the exact same height. That is odd. I think about how Audrey was threatened just when she posted about Bristol possibly faking the TRIPP pregnancy after Sarah faked the Trig pregnancy and the theories that the two boys could be twins. But Patrick's voice in my head tells me it isn't true, and I am snapped back to reality by Bella telling me to fast forward through the commercial.
At the Palin concrete palace, Sarah is looking for her Juicy diaper bag. Piper practices basketball. Todd takes Trig somewhere while Sarah drives Piper into Anchorage for some mother-daughter time at Peggy's Pies. Sarah tells Piper to be gracious and patient if tourists want to meet her. Piper says, "but you have to bribe me." LOL! At least the girl is honest. Sarah is wearing a Juicy Couture sweatshirt (about $140) as she talks about how hard it was when she used to be a waitress. Sarah and Piper fill in as waitresses. Piper says Sarah is a horrible waitress because she stops to talk too much. Piper collects tips, and Sarah takes them and says they are "gas money to get back home." She says Piper "saw what hard work was all about and tolerance for other people and what it means to be truly of service to other people." Really Sarah? She served pie for like 10 minutes and then you took the money she earned!! HA!
On the drive back to Wasilla, Piper is not wearing a seat belt. Bella notices right away and says she can't believe Sarah would allow that. Piper looks miserable and tells Sarah she is in the wrong lane. They go to a kennel to drop off a pie and we get a quick Iditarod history and dog training lesson. Piper gets to pick one of the puppies to be named Piper. They get in a helicopter (marked Alpine Air Alaska for you researchers) to go to a glacier to ride a dogsled. They tour the Iditarod team's camp and play with some adorable puppies. The trainer says that the female dog leads the team because she is the Alpha, and is the "brains." Sarah says, "because the females are the more intelligent ones." Yes, that is exactly what he just said, genius.
Bella says she really likes this episode because there are lots of babies and puppies. I give her my "gross" look and she says, "but I still don't like Sarah Palin!" I feel bad for not just letting her enjoy it.
Sarah is wearing the same red wool coat she wore when she was "pregnant" with Trig and pictured in both the Vogue shoot and with the Target dog, late in her "pregnancy." It fits the same way now as it did then. They take a ride on the sleds -- Sarah on one, Piper on the other. Sarah's sled wins. Sarah takes off on a dogsled all by herself and Piper says, "does she know the brake?" Sarah thinks that seeing her mush alone will make Piper think she is cool. But Piper is totally over her mom, does not even watch, and plays with a snowball. Haha... Piper is my favorite Palin.
We end on a screen that says Bones died between the making and the airing of this episode. RIP Bones.
Next time... Sarah goes Lumberjack!
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Thank you, Leadfoot and Bella! Brilliant review!
There was also a very funny live chat going on again during the broadcast of this episode on Palingates - the transcript can be downloaded here.Many thanks to our reader sleuth for capturing it!
Sarah made a few very revealing remarks this time.
For example:
She says she "feels sorry for some of her kids because their mistakes are played out on the front page of the National Enquirer which really SUCKS for them."
Leadfoot already commented on that sentence above. I just find it incredibly revealing that it apparently doesn't occur to Sarah that her kids made their mistakes because of bad parenting. We already know from countless occasions that Sarah is unable to admit any kind of mistake or failure, which seems to be a part of her severe personality disorder. So her children's mistakes couldn't possibly be her mistakes.
You would think that psychologists would have a field day with Sarah Palin.
"I studied liars and their lies for decades. I found that the vast majority of liars do care about the truth in at least one fundamental way - they want to be able to assure themselves and others that there is something honest about what they are saying. They want to have some wisp of truth to hang onto.
What would you do if you hated a particular painting, only to have the artist who painted it approach you, point to it, and say, "That's one of my paintings. What do you think of it?" Along with my colleague and friend, Kathy Bell, I actually did research like this. (It is described in professional paper #4 in the book, The Lies We Tell and the Clues We Miss.) A completely truthful answer would have been, "I hate it." Unsurprisingly, that's not the answer our participants preferred. Instead, they tried in all sorts of ways to convey the impression that they liked the painting, while still including something that could be defended as truthful. For example, they might tell the artist that they liked the shape of the leaf in the plant in the background - without acknowledging that the shape of that one leaf was the ONLY thing they liked.
From my post as an outside observer, it seems to me that Sarah Palin doesn't care much about the truth. In that way, she is a very special liar. Instead, Palin seems to love the effect her disingenuous pronouncements have on her audiences and so she just runs with them. Her fans adore her claims about "death panels" and about Obama supposedly "palling around with terrorists" and all the rest. Look at how they roar with approval and fervor when she tosses that red, bloody moose meat to them - how can the mere (non) truth-value of what she is saying ever compete with that? Plus, the fact that her taunts drive her detractors over the edge - well, that just adds to the fun!
Sarah Palin seems to relish the reaction she gets to her claims and complaints. Among her core fan base, the theme that the mean media and the full-of-themselves campaign staffers were unfair to noble, authentic, small-town Sarah seems to be a winner. Whether it is really true is almost irrelevant.
I do love the irony of Palin flaunting her authenticity with lies."
Well, you might not remember, because this experiment which could be called "exposing Sarah Palin from a psychological point of view" turned out to be quite nasty (for the author), and was probably never repeated for this reason.
"In this space, originally, was a post about Sarah Palin as a very special liar - one who seems to care less about the truth, and about saying things that could be defended as truthful - than the vast majority of liars I've studied for decades. I thought that was interesting psychologically; hence the post to Psychology Today.
I have now moved the post, in full, to the Huffington Post; you can find it here. Alan, in the comments section here, was right. I should have posted it there in the first place. The comments the post drew were mostly personal and political, not psychological. My personal e-mail box has also been filled with scathing personal attacks. I realize that the blogosphere is the wild, wild web, and that if I write colorfully, I'll attract some vitriol. I'm also sure other bloggers have been treated in far nastier ways than I have, so I'm not complaining. I'm just noting that in my personal experience as a blogger (at Huffington Post, since June of 2006; here at Psych Today since March of 2008), this is as scurrilous as it's ever gotten."
I just had to think of that, because one of the main reason why America is still being tortured by this ridiculous woman is the fact that there is a little army of nasty Palinbots out there who are just to eager to follows Palin's perceived demand: Smear the "enemy", and harass them, if they dare to criticize the Queen in public.
But back to the "National Enquirer": Funnily, in this episode Sarah basically admitted that the stories that the National Enquirer published especially in 2008 were actually true. I find this quite remarkable.
By the way: One of those stories in the National Enquirer in 2008, next for example to Track's drug abuse and Sarah's well-documented sexual affair with Brad Hanson was the story that Sarah "banished the pregnant daughter Bristol from their house":
The principal of the Wasilla High School also confirmed that Bristol transferred from there halfway through the 2007-2008 school year. The National Enquirer reported this as well, with some additional details: “When Sarah found out the teen was pregnant by high schooler Levi Johnston, she was actually banished from the house. As part of the cover-up, Palin quickly transferred Bristol to another high school and made her move in with Sarah’s sister Heather 25 miles away!”
While many people apparently assumed this referred to the pregnancy with Tripp, that cannot be true. It can only refer to the winter 2007-2008 period, which coincides with the Trig pregnancy, not Tripp. Adding support to this conclusion, Bristol herself reported that they told Sarah and Todd about her pregnancy with Tripp “after school was out.” The logical conclusion is that Bristol’s banishment to Anchorage was not for the Tripp pregnancy, but for Trig."
Back the episode 6 of Sarah Palin's Alaska:
Naturally, I was pleased that Sarah Palin mentioned the evil bloggers again:
Sarah says it will be "nice to get the heck away from idiots and bloggers who do not like our family."
Oh, Sarah, that's rich: As I just mentioned recently, through a little video clip, it's in your hands to "get rid" of a huge portion of those bloggers immediately: Show proof that you were pregnant with Trig and "eliminate" many, if not most of those pesky bloggers by discrediting them.
You don't do it?
I know why, and you know the reason for it as well!
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Finally - if you have missed episode 6, then youtube is your friend!
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UPDATE BY KATHLEEN:
Many readers have remarked on the fact that Piper, Trig and other passengers in the RV are not wearing seatbelts while footage shows the RV charging along the road. It is quite clear that from 4.12 onwards that Piper is jumping up and down in the RV while the vehicle is in motion, so she cannot be safely belted up. From 11.07 Trig is also seen standing on the sofa seat without a seatbelt.
Our reader, Joe Christmas, found the following information which makes it clear that according to Alaska state child passenger safety law seatbelts must be worn:
Alaska law says that a driver may not transport children under 16 in a motor vehicle unless the child is properly secured according to state child passenger safety law. Children who are not yet one year old or who do not yet weigh 20 lbs must be properly secured in a federally approved rear-facing car seat.
Once again Sarah Palin's complete lack of awareness jeopardizes her children's welfare.
MXM nailed the fact that it is not sensed threats which endanger Sarah's children but the Palin's lack of parenting skills which put them in constant peril.
However, I will point out that it is unlikely that any action will be taken against the Palins as it seems that not wearing seatbelts is regarded as a secondary traffic offence and that the RV could only have been pulled over if a more serious offence such as speeding had taken place. Ludicrous? It would seem so to me, but there you have it.
This week on Sarah Palin's Screw You Levi, Kate Gosselin and her 8 kids visit Sarah to learn "what this great state of Alaska is all about." Something tells me they will learn more about Sarah and why she is not so great.
Full disclosure: Bella and I have always watched Jon & Kate Plus 8, and Kate Plus 8. The sextuplets are about the same age as Bella, and she likes to watch as they go on all their adventures. I used to really dislike Kate, on the first show. But after Jon turned into a complete and total dirt bag, I felt sorry for Kate and actually began to like the way she stood tall and raised her 8 kids virtually alone. She is a germ-a-phobe and a control freak, but I really do think she puts her kids' best interests first and I've always appreciated her directness.
Right off the bat, Bella asks me who is more popular "Kate Plus 8," as she calls her, or "Sarah Palin." I say I'm not really sure, and ask what she thinks. She says "probably Sarah Palin because she is more known from when she was working with that guy in the election."
Sarah heads out to the local gun shop to meet her dad. She says in Wasilla, the gun shop is like a barber shop, and is a second home to her dad. She is picking up a bear gun so that she can protect Kate (who she keeps calling "a gal") since she has never gone camping. She says seeing someone with a weapon in Alaska is as common as seeing someone with a Blackberry in New York City.
Before she goes camping, she must first take part in a "Palin family tradition" - climbing a mountain called The Beaut. There are tons of Palins -- Sarah says 4 generations are there. I see Bristol, Willow, Piper and Tripp, but no Track or Trig. Sarah goes up last -- as the "trail sweeper," to make sure all the kids make it. Piper starts walking and then immediately says "I am hungry!"
At the top, they see a plane and Sarah says, "It is the National Enquirer! Where's Bristol?!," and then cackles a horrible witchy-poo laugh. She says people ask her if any of her kids will go into politicas and she often answers that they are independent enough, so they could, but they have also witnessed a lot of the "brutality" that goes with the territory. I don't think ALL politicians experience brutality, Sarah. Only the lying, quitting, pregnany-faking ones. And what you refer to as "brutality" is often just truth-seeking. While showing the view from the summit, she says, "On a really clear day, you can see Russia from here! Almost." Enough already!
Back at the Palin home, Piper is sporting a new hairdo -- a bumpit and highlights. It is the same hair as Sarah's, and makes Piper look chubby. Sarah tells Piper to do her math homework, but not to use a calculator. Piper takes Sarah's Blackberry and tells her there is no calculator on it. Sarah says, "oh, ok." But then she notices Piper's guilty look and says, "Piper, you are cheating!" Piper smiles at her and Sarah says, "Oh, hi Willow!" It was as if she were like, "I don't have the energy to deal with cheating on math homework, oh look, something shiny." She gave up in about 5 seconds. No discipline, no conseqences.
She tells Piper that Kate and the 8 kids will be camping with them. Todd just stares at Sarah, while Willow taps away on her iPhone 4, ignoring everyone. For the 2nd week in a row, she is there, but does not speak. Bella rolls her eyes. I ask what is wrong. She says, "her voice, her voice, her voice!"
The Gosselins show up at Sarah's house and Sarah does that fake squeaky voice to greet them. "Hell-eeeeeeeeoooow" Kate looks genuinely disgusted. She is not a woman who hides her emotions well. She can't think of anything nice to say to Sarah, so she just says, "wow, beautiful view" and "Oh, look kids, there's a bear on the floor, did anyone notice?" The kids take the bear's fake tongue out and Todd says not to worry because it was removable before. Kate asks if the bear is real, "like was it once walking outside?" Todd says Sarah's dad shot it a few years ago. Kate doesn't look pleased.
Sarah takes them next door to the castle. Piper says her mom has another job where she goes on TV. Another job?! Piper, honey, that's her only job. Kate says she admires that Sarah is a strong woman who doesn't back down and doesn't let the world's opinion of her change her. Immediately following that statement, Sarah shows Kate the giant fence and says that they have a neighbor who moved in to watch them, so they can't go in their front yard anymore. Oh the irony.
Kate says she doesn't often meet people who undergo the same level of scrutiny as she does, and that her kids can't play in their front yard either because of the paparazzi camped out there. So she can relate to Sarah. Compared to Sarah, Kate has an excellent vocabulary and quick wit.
Sarah takes Kate and Willow to a class on how to survive in the wild and stay safe from bears. In the car, Kate tries to make conversation, while Sarah looks at her Blackberry. I sure hope Blackberry paid for all the airtime they are getting!! Sarah tells Kate that the only true way to stay safe is to have a partner that is slower than you, Kate looks shocked and says, "Oh my Gosh! Sacrifice your friend?!" Sarah says, "yep, that's right." Note to self - never go camping with a narcissist.
At the bear class, Kate says she has never seen so many guns in her life. She is clearly uncomfortable and says, "I'm not really into this." Sarah says that Kate will be putting herself and her family in danger if she is unarmed. Kate takes the gun but says this is something we will not see again. She is more scared after the class than she was before. Bella says, "I don't know how Kate Plus 8 can do that." I say, "shoot a gun?" Bella says, "no, go camping with Sarah Palin."
Next they go to the firing range and learn to shoot a gun with blanks to scare bears away. Sarah and Willow shoot it. Sarah says, "that felt great." Kate looks horrified. Willow is now wearing the red jacket and hoodie we saw at confrontation with the teacher in Homer. The plot, as always, thickens. Kate says she does not consider herself a gun advocate, but will do anything to protect her kids, so she will try to shoot it. Sarah likes shooting so much, Willow says, "she's crazy!" and Kate says "I was just about to say the same thing." Yes, the viewers agree. The coach says that Sarah is the best, so she should defend the camp. He asks Kate if she wants more practice and she says, "no, I'm good."
Oh my, they take all 9 kids (Kate's 8 + Piper) to the Heath House of Horrors. Creepy Chuck shows them antlers that are stuck together because the two animals died that way. He says, "how'd you like to fight with someone you hate, and then die that way?" TO A BUNCH OF 7 YEAR OLDS!!! Kate says "the moral of the story is, don't fight." Haha. Way to make the best of an awkward situation, Kate. He hands them severed paws of various animals, porcupine quills (which he sticks into his arm!), whale teeth and other "artifacts." They go inside and Kate starts screaming when she sees all the dead animals. She says nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. They go see the antler mountain in the yard, and Sarah says her dad's dog hunts for them and brings them all back.
They head off in a float plane (of course - planes are like taxis in Alaska, doncha know?!) to go camping at Chelatna Lake. Sarah, Creepy Chuck and Todd head out first to set up. Kate has never camped before, and is not thrilled that it is cold and rainy. When they land, Kate says, "are you kidding me? Doesn't the lodge sound much more fun?" Sarah and Creepy Chuck call a "safety meeting" and Kate says, "go ahead, go hear what they have to say," with a tone in her voice that rings of, "God, I hate these people." She says she is more worried about her freezing toes than bears.
Todd and Sarah's brother take all the kids fishing. Todd really is good with kids. It is in moments like these that I feel a little glimmer of pity and hope for him. Willow speaks! She is worried that Kate is not having fun, and she is right. Kate is miserable, standing under a canopy tent and getting eaten up by bugs. Sarah says, "kids will always have fun if they are being productive and helpful and pitching in," as she sends them off in the rain to gather firewood. I was starting to worry that her work ethic line wouldn't make it in this episode, but never fear -- there it was.
Sarah AGAIN makes the Russia joke. She says that if they looked over their shoulders, they could see it, "swear to God." What is WRONG with her?!
They cook moose hot dogs and hamburgers in the rain. Alexis wants marshmallows, and Sarah says, "Go ask your mother!" Kate turns her nose up at the moose hot dog and then starts to lose it. She says, "why would you pretend to be homeless?! I don't get it. I am freezing and I have 19 layers on! There is no table, no chairs, no paper towels, no hand washing materials." She said she has kept it together as long is she could, but she is done now. She is hungry, wet, cold, and has had enough. Bella says, "mom, that would be you." Fair point. Some people are just city people, I tell her.
Sarah says to the camera, "come on, it isn't that bad! She had a tent over her head!" Sarah tells Todd he is smart to "escape" down to the river to fish (to get away from Kate's whining). The kids were having fun and wanted to stay, so Kate says, "ok, have fun. You are now a Palin, you are not a Gosselin." Kate tells Sarah she is leaving, and says that camping is where their similarities end. Sarah says she is staying because she has to put her bear training to use. She "grew up around this, is used to it, and she LOVES it."
Kate says that Alaska is gorgeous and amazing, but the camping just was not for her. She wants all her kids to be warm and dry, so they all leave.
Creepy Chuck says that Kate "bitched from the minute she got off the plane." Very respectful, Creepy Chuck. Especially since you know you are on camera. Sarah says, "well, I'd probably be the same way if she took me to New York to some red carpet event." Oh. My. God. First, you would freaking love it, Sarah. Second, you would invade the gifting lounge and steal everything you could carry.
The Palins and Heaths all sit around the campfire telling stories and playing games. Sarah says Alaska is the "easternmost state." Maybe someone can explain that to me. I don't get it. Sarah sleeps with the bear gun in her tent. They start to say, "goodnight, Grandma. Goodnight Mom," like the Waltons. Sarah says, "I love you." Willow answers back, "I have to pee." Piper yells, "Willow has to pee!" HAHAHA -- keep it classy, Palins.
As we go to scenes from next week (Riding ATVs and more shooting), Bella says, "Mom, will Sarah Palin read this?" I say, "that's probably what she's always reading on that Blackberry." Bella gives me a big grin with giant wide eyes and says "uh oh!" I think she is worrying that Sarah's feelings will be hurt. I, on the other hand, will sleep just fine.
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Leadfoot and Bella, excellent job again! Of course Sarah will read that - she wouldn't miss reading Palingates for the world! ;-)
I have to confess that I never watched Kate Gosselin before, I always refused to click on these clips and thought they should be ignored, but BY GOD, this woman is a reality show goddess! Even Sarah Palin is out of her depth. "Did it use to walk?" says Kate, while pointing to the bear at the floor. Simply brilliant - hard to beat in the reality show world. Kate Gosselin gives the "masses" what they want - a freak show with sweet kids.
Our reader sleuth captured the whole live chat which was going on at Palingates during the show - it can be downloaded here. Many thanks again to sleuth! 44 people were online in the chat, which is very nice.
Here is a short scene from episode 5 with Kate Gosselin freaking out:
There is more:
Below you can watch basically the whole episode, which was uploaded to youtube by some Kate Gosselin fanatic, but "part 4" appears to be missing:
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Part 5 (part 4 appears to be missing):
Well, I haven't watched it all yet, but so many freaks and so many sweet kids - I wouldn't miss watching it for the world! ;-)
