Showing posts with label comic relief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comic relief. Show all posts
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Learning with Sarah Palin is fun!
"Paul Revere did warn the British. And in a shout-out, gotcha-type of question that was asked of me, I answered candidly. And I know my American history."
"I haven't heard the president state that we're at war. That's why I too am not knowing -- do we use the term intervention? Do we use war? Do we use squirmish? What is it?" (on the U.S. and NATO bombing of Libya.)
"But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies."
"Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate."
"Barack and Michelle Obama have power in their words. They could refudiate what it is that this group is saying."
"This is Reagan country. Yeah! And perhaps it was destiny that the man who went to California's Eureka College would become so woven within and inter-linked to the Golden State." (Eureka College is in Illinois.)
"I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." (There's no Department of Law.)
"Ohh, good, thank you, yes." (after the Canadian prank caller complimented her on the documentary about her life, Hustler's "Nailin Paylin.")
"They're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." (Explaining what the VP does.)
"I like being here because it seems like here and in our last rally too -- other parts around this great Northwest -- here in New Hampshire you just get it."
"They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan."
"Oil and coal? Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules, where it's going and where it's not."
"Our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia ... We have trade missions back and forth. We... we do... it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where... where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to... to our state."
"But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy."
Sarah taught us some lovely words and adorable pronunciations: Ions for eons, mandation for mandate, gutteral for guttural, chronosone, nucular, contradictoring and pundents.
Finally, there's the flavour of the week GOP candidate "Herb" Cain also, too.
Labels:
comic relief,
just for fun
Sunday, 25 September 2011
Friday, 2 September 2011
Tea and fun with Sarah Palin - UPDATE 2
Sarah Palin will be serving the tea in Indianola after all. I expect there will be further servings until she goes to South Korea... to speak.
Considering her level of knowledge and previous experience, she would be more comfortable doing this at the World Knowledge Forum:
![]() |
Sarah Palin, an insult to speakers and waitresses! |
Or this:
She looks even better with the appropriate flag pin:
She has the big shoes already...
The way she's going, she's becoming an insult to clowns, also too.
*****
UPDATE
A reader sent me a copy of the e-mail he sent to the World Knowledge Forum and their reply:
![]() |
Please click on image to enlarge |
Yes, WKF, we have many other thoughts...
******
This is fun. WKF seems to have a stock answer to e-mails protesting Sarah Palin's appearance at their event, but there are minor variations. A different reader sent me another exchange:
![]() |
Please click on image to enlarge |
I wonder if they bothered to click on the link MO included in the e-mail...
Labels:
comic relief,
just for fun
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Sarah Palin's announcement speech (Satire)
Sarah Palin's announcement speech has been leaked and I was lucky to receive a copy:
My fellow teabaggers, do you love your freedom?
What a great city you have here in Indianola! The balloon city of the heartland! I must tellya, we use only genuine Indianola balloons to decorate the house when our kids have birthday parties, don't we, Todd?
It's good to see so many little people together and we're happy to announce that we'll be runnin' for President of this fine country.
We're goin' to plow through that door of the White House because God opened it a crack and we'll act according to his mandation. He created America as a Christian, exceptional nation, like a shiny hill in the city, for the true patriots.
I was just talking to Piper yesterday when we were out huntin' for the freezer and the wisdom of a child is a miracle. She asked "Mom, if the Founding Fathers were true Christians, shouldn't they be called Christian Fathers, or Founding Christians?"
The lamestream media will criticize little Piper Diaper for her wisdom, but we'll amend the doggone foundin' documents when we're President because in God we trust and they'll have to take all that money with those words out of my cold dead hands.
Mama grizzlies don't go with flow, only dead fish do that, it's a time tested truth that my science teacher dad has been teachin' up there in the great state of Alaska for ions. You little people don't go with the flow and I don't go with the flow of politics as usual of the elitistic crowd of Washington DC.
No more old boys club, we'll start a new grizzly club, but not for the cackling rads. We'll refudiate all the Supreme Court decisions that we don't like and take government out of our lives and with all my executive experience as a businesswoman and fish wife we'll reform that Department of Law there in the White House.
My science teacher dad and his wife Sally and also too my precious little boy with those special needs escaped Obama's death panels because I warned the country about the blood libel and it's time to end Medicaid and Medicare because we're not having no entitlement programs if we're goin' to have real energy independence with good smellin' emissions and rein in spending. I learned the five Ws of governin' in college and will clean the sorry state that journalism is in so it's fair and balanced in the White House.
I'm sorry we took so long to make this announcement, but I didn't blink before when I ran on the Palin/McCain ticket and you saw what happened. Obama encouraged the media to attack my family and they kept asking for medical records and about my record as the CEO of Alaska in a sexist way when they didn't even ask questions about Obama pallin' around with Bill Ayers since he was eight years old! I'll tellya, what kind of vetting was that? So I blinked this time, just to make sure. But we didn't retreat, we reloaded.
We took our time to decide to throw my servant's heart in the ring, didn't we, Todd? But the family is doing good, hell yeah, they are. Bristol the Pistol and her sister Willow the Pillow are doing just great in LA with no boys upstairs and my precious gift from God is somewhere in Alaska, walking around with his hand in front of him, looking for the North Star, I'm so blessed! My veteran son that nobody can take away from me shrugged his shoulders in a very encouragin' manner and said whatever, Piper will travel around with me on this vaca... campaign, so we're good to go.
I have to ask Track to do some goggling for me. What is it the president does all day, everyday?
God bless Real America!
Ah, before I forget: Send all your money to my new Pac, the old one is no good anymore.
As I'm in a wicked mood today, here's a very short video (no voice, just a bit of music):
My fellow teabaggers, do you love your freedom?
What a great city you have here in Indianola! The balloon city of the heartland! I must tellya, we use only genuine Indianola balloons to decorate the house when our kids have birthday parties, don't we, Todd?
It's good to see so many little people together and we're happy to announce that we'll be runnin' for President of this fine country.
We're goin' to plow through that door of the White House because God opened it a crack and we'll act according to his mandation. He created America as a Christian, exceptional nation, like a shiny hill in the city, for the true patriots.
I was just talking to Piper yesterday when we were out huntin' for the freezer and the wisdom of a child is a miracle. She asked "Mom, if the Founding Fathers were true Christians, shouldn't they be called Christian Fathers, or Founding Christians?"
The lamestream media will criticize little Piper Diaper for her wisdom, but we'll amend the doggone foundin' documents when we're President because in God we trust and they'll have to take all that money with those words out of my cold dead hands.
Mama grizzlies don't go with flow, only dead fish do that, it's a time tested truth that my science teacher dad has been teachin' up there in the great state of Alaska for ions. You little people don't go with the flow and I don't go with the flow of politics as usual of the elitistic crowd of Washington DC.
No more old boys club, we'll start a new grizzly club, but not for the cackling rads. We'll refudiate all the Supreme Court decisions that we don't like and take government out of our lives and with all my executive experience as a businesswoman and fish wife we'll reform that Department of Law there in the White House.
My science teacher dad and his wife Sally and also too my precious little boy with those special needs escaped Obama's death panels because I warned the country about the blood libel and it's time to end Medicaid and Medicare because we're not having no entitlement programs if we're goin' to have real energy independence with good smellin' emissions and rein in spending. I learned the five Ws of governin' in college and will clean the sorry state that journalism is in so it's fair and balanced in the White House.
I'm sorry we took so long to make this announcement, but I didn't blink before when I ran on the Palin/McCain ticket and you saw what happened. Obama encouraged the media to attack my family and they kept asking for medical records and about my record as the CEO of Alaska in a sexist way when they didn't even ask questions about Obama pallin' around with Bill Ayers since he was eight years old! I'll tellya, what kind of vetting was that? So I blinked this time, just to make sure. But we didn't retreat, we reloaded.
We took our time to decide to throw my servant's heart in the ring, didn't we, Todd? But the family is doing good, hell yeah, they are. Bristol the Pistol and her sister Willow the Pillow are doing just great in LA with no boys upstairs and my precious gift from God is somewhere in Alaska, walking around with his hand in front of him, looking for the North Star, I'm so blessed! My veteran son that nobody can take away from me shrugged his shoulders in a very encouragin' manner and said whatever, Piper will travel around with me on this vaca... campaign, so we're good to go.
I have to ask Track to do some goggling for me. What is it the president does all day, everyday?
God bless Real America!
Ah, before I forget: Send all your money to my new Pac, the old one is no good anymore.
As I'm in a wicked mood today, here's a very short video (no voice, just a bit of music):
Labels:
comic relief
Monday, 15 August 2011
Sarah Palin and Todd have words...
![]() |
Unflippinbelievable! If you forget to pack my boobies ever again, I'll have your crown jewels removed. Got it? |
Labels:
comic relief,
just for fun
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Sarah Palin in Iowa, the seriousness of it all...
The frantic, speculative media coverage of Sarah Palin in Iowa got on my nerves, so I decided to approach it from my usual frivolous angle.
Sarah wore a t-shirt suitable for a 15-year-old, with a quote from Alina Villasante, creator of peace love world.
Guess who also likes Villasante?
How funny that Sarah Palin decided to take fashion tips from J-Lo...
Sarah sported a lovely rat's nest hairstyle for the occasion...
I think Sarah Palin's little wet accessory goes on overdrive in Iowa. She lost control of it in Pella and the same happened at the State Fair.
[The video has music only, no screechy voice.]
There you have it. I can't believe the media take Sarah Palin seriously as a prospective presidential candidate and I wish Britney Spears could announce she's running as well, but she doesn't qualify, being too young. If she could, at least there would be a chance of some honest reporting...
Sarah wore a t-shirt suitable for a 15-year-old, with a quote from Alina Villasante, creator of peace love world.
Guess who also likes Villasante?
How funny that Sarah Palin decided to take fashion tips from J-Lo...
*****
Sarah sported a lovely rat's nest hairstyle for the occasion...
![]() |
Didn't it grow quickly in just a week? |
*****
I think Sarah Palin's little wet accessory goes on overdrive in Iowa. She lost control of it in Pella and the same happened at the State Fair.
[The video has music only, no screechy voice.]
There you have it. I can't believe the media take Sarah Palin seriously as a prospective presidential candidate and I wish Britney Spears could announce she's running as well, but she doesn't qualify, being too young. If she could, at least there would be a chance of some honest reporting...
Labels:
comic relief
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Sarah Palin's square belly
Andrew Sullivan posted this link as an explanation to the mystery of Sarah Palin's pregnancy with Trig.
If poor Sarah was afflicted by this bizarre medical condition, the explanation for Sarah Palin's square belly becomes clearer.
She had too many square shaped foods before being photographed or filmed, that's all.
a) Sarah ate too many Crunchwrap Supremes, they're squarish.
b) Sarah didn't realize you have to take the dinner out of the box before eating it.
c) Sarah must have eaten one of these
Before this photo:
See? There's an explanation for everything...
(H/T to Shapeshifterbelly)
If poor Sarah was afflicted by this bizarre medical condition, the explanation for Sarah Palin's square belly becomes clearer.
![]() |
She had too many square shaped foods before being photographed or filmed, that's all.
a) Sarah ate too many Crunchwrap Supremes, they're squarish.
b) Sarah didn't realize you have to take the dinner out of the box before eating it.
c) Sarah must have eaten one of these
Before this photo:
See? There's an explanation for everything...
(H/T to Shapeshifterbelly)
Labels:
babygate,
comic relief
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Sarah Palin pallin' round with Britney Spears
Oops! She did it again...
[There isn't too much Sarah Palin in the video. Promise!]
[There isn't too much Sarah Palin in the video. Promise!]
Labels:
comic relief
Saturday, 16 July 2011
Some Sarah Palin cartoons
It's a slow Saturday for Sarah Palin news, so I looked for some cartoons. Enjoy this selection. They start back in 2008, but still make sense today.
Labels:
comic relief
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Fun with Sarah Palin, Carla Bruni and Michele Bachmann
Oh dear... at this rate, Carla Bruni won't be as comfortable leaning forward as our super-fit, tight abs Sarah Palin when she reaches the 7th month of her pregnancy. What a shame.
This video is old, but always entertaining. Sarah Palin should be made to eat her own words on a daily basis.
(H/T to Sleuth)
Now that Michele Bachmann is copying Sarah Palin, there's another film coming out, starring the two of them.
Perhaps Sarah should announce she's going to run sooner rather than later. The perks are good, at least for the spouses...
![]() |
Carla Bruni, last weekend (baby due in October) |
![]() |
Sarah Palin in March 2008 (baby due in May) |
This video is old, but always entertaining. Sarah Palin should be made to eat her own words on a daily basis.
(H/T to Sleuth)
Now that Michele Bachmann is copying Sarah Palin, there's another film coming out, starring the two of them.
![]() |
(H/T to LisanTx) |
Labels:
babygate,
babygate review,
comic relief
Saturday, 2 July 2011
Sarah Palin causes trouble for Carla Bruni
As it's a holiday weekend, I'll indulge in a bit of satire.
Sarah Palin is having trouble at home, having been upstaged by that copy-cat Michele Bachmann, not to mention the disappointment of a dismally attended joint book signing with her big daughter Bristol.
Now there's trouble further afield. Sarah's old friend President Sarkozy is not happy with his wife's appearance. Former model Carla Bruni was on the cover of the June issue of Elle magazine looking visibly pregnant. The baby is due in October and Carla is showing too soon!
Sarko went ballistic, stomped his little feet and was oveheard chastising his hapless wife: "Non, non, non! How dare you pose for Elle showing that bump? Haven't you seen the photo of my good friend Sarah Palin at seven months, looking trim, with a toned belly?"
"We're French, sacré bleu! French women are supposed to be slim and elegant, now you ruined our image! You were a model and couldn't do better than a hockey cochon with lipstick? Ha! You're Italian, there must be a way to salvage the reputation of pregnant French women after all. Yes! I'll blame the Italian pasta or quelque chose like that. How am I going to face Todd when I go 'unting in Alaska? He's going to gloat, he has a super wife and I have a sloppy one. His Sarah thrashed her abs, looked fantastique and you disgraced me! On the cover of Elle, for all to see and laugh at me. Merde!"
Poor Carla. Sarko has a fiery temperament and is very image conscious. The guy carries a little box to stand on to look taller and doesn't allow Carla to wear high heels. It's all about him.
I don't know how he's going to deal with the progressing pregnancy. Carla is going to get bigger and bring further shame on the little guy.
Sarkozy rang Sarah again, trying to get some tips for Carla's abs and she was very gracious and reassuring. She told him to look at the photo taken on April 13.
"See? I looked big and pregnant, there's nothing to worry about. Don't blame your beautiful wife. You live in Paris and she can't go huntin and fishin and climbin and loggin like I can up here in Alaska, unless she goes climbin that tower you have there, built in honor of your founding fathers by the brother of the guy who gave us the statute of Liberty so the legal immigrants could find their way here to freedom. Or something like that. I looked flat because the lamestream media took my pregnancy out of context. Your wife looks beautiful (what a cow!)."
Sarko wasn't too convinced and devised a rigorous regime for Carla. No more pasta, only crunchwrap supremes, skinny lattes and Red Bull from now on. And she'll have to swim the Seine and climb the Eiffel tower at least three times a week.
He also asked Sarah to bring her bus tour to France. The French need educating about their history aussi, too. They know nothing about their founding fathers, merde alors! (To be fair, he didn't know about them either, not until Sarah set the record straight.)
Sarah Palin is having trouble at home, having been upstaged by that copy-cat Michele Bachmann, not to mention the disappointment of a dismally attended joint book signing with her big daughter Bristol.
Now there's trouble further afield. Sarah's old friend President Sarkozy is not happy with his wife's appearance. Former model Carla Bruni was on the cover of the June issue of Elle magazine looking visibly pregnant. The baby is due in October and Carla is showing too soon!
Sarko went ballistic, stomped his little feet and was oveheard chastising his hapless wife: "Non, non, non! How dare you pose for Elle showing that bump? Haven't you seen the photo of my good friend Sarah Palin at seven months, looking trim, with a toned belly?"
"We're French, sacré bleu! French women are supposed to be slim and elegant, now you ruined our image! You were a model and couldn't do better than a hockey cochon with lipstick? Ha! You're Italian, there must be a way to salvage the reputation of pregnant French women after all. Yes! I'll blame the Italian pasta or quelque chose like that. How am I going to face Todd when I go 'unting in Alaska? He's going to gloat, he has a super wife and I have a sloppy one. His Sarah thrashed her abs, looked fantastique and you disgraced me! On the cover of Elle, for all to see and laugh at me. Merde!"
Poor Carla. Sarko has a fiery temperament and is very image conscious. The guy carries a little box to stand on to look taller and doesn't allow Carla to wear high heels. It's all about him.
I don't know how he's going to deal with the progressing pregnancy. Carla is going to get bigger and bring further shame on the little guy.
Sarkozy rang Sarah again, trying to get some tips for Carla's abs and she was very gracious and reassuring. She told him to look at the photo taken on April 13.
"See? I looked big and pregnant, there's nothing to worry about. Don't blame your beautiful wife. You live in Paris and she can't go huntin and fishin and climbin and loggin like I can up here in Alaska, unless she goes climbin that tower you have there, built in honor of your founding fathers by the brother of the guy who gave us the statute of Liberty so the legal immigrants could find their way here to freedom. Or something like that. I looked flat because the lamestream media took my pregnancy out of context. Your wife looks beautiful (what a cow!)."
Sarko wasn't too convinced and devised a rigorous regime for Carla. No more pasta, only crunchwrap supremes, skinny lattes and Red Bull from now on. And she'll have to swim the Seine and climb the Eiffel tower at least three times a week.
He also asked Sarah to bring her bus tour to France. The French need educating about their history aussi, too. They know nothing about their founding fathers, merde alors! (To be fair, he didn't know about them either, not until Sarah set the record straight.)
Labels:
babygate,
babygate review,
comic relief
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