Monday, 29 November 2010

Sarah Palin's Alaska - Episode 3 - A reader's review

Guest post by Leadfoot_LA and her daughter Bella, age 7

This week's episode of "Sarah Palin's The Lower 48 is for Wusses" begins with three shots of the beautiful Bristol Bay -- a bald eagle and some gorgeous mountain and water shots. But the serenity is broken by Sarah's voice screeching that she and Todd have been fishing those waters since before they were married. It is so special to them that they named their first daughter after Bristol Bay.

The whole family (except Bristol) is at Todd's mom's house for the start of the fishing season. This year they have 5 generations of Palins in the house, from Todd's grandma Lena, a native Eskimo, all the way down to Tripp. Todd sleeps in a chair, Willow reads Trig a book, and Tripp is in a high chair. Sarah gets in his face and says, "HI! I'm going to bug you until you say hi!" Gross. I would ignore her too.

The men head outside to prepare to fish. Todd says Track stands to make a lot of money this season. Track says his dad is "the best fisherman around," and he can learn a lot from him. When he is on screen it says, "Sarah's son" under his name. I giggle out loud at this, both because she is so unbelievably self centered to allow the subtitles to proclaim the children are hers and hers alone, and because I believe Track is not, in fact Todd's son.

Track and his "crew" wrecked the boat trailer last night and left it for Sarah and Todd. Captain America fixes it. Sarah and Todd go out in the boat and she explains how Todd owns the #1 site for salmon in the area because he has 6 nets, and the schools of fish hit his nets before they hit anyone else's. A handy little map graphic pops up so I understand what she is talking about. "When the fish aren't biting, it gets a little frustratin' out here," she says. Except that they are netting fish, so -- and I'm no fisherman -- but I believe that means they NEVER bite, right?!

Todd yells at Track about the trailer and Track says, "what are you eatin' Dad? You are eating M&Ms and I am eating fruit. Let's put it that way." WHAT?! He apparently inherited the "I make no sense" gene from Sarah.

Track needs to catch 3,000 lbs of Salmon a day, which equals $3,000, just to break even. They don't catch anything. Sarah says, "We'll get 'em next time!!" about 4 times in a row. I get the feeling she is not talking about fish. Bella says, "I see where this is going. I think Sarah Palin is going to get mad in this episode. She's already frustrated, so next it will get bad!"

Becker, Todd's fishing buddy comes over and says he caught 1,300 lbs. Todd says that fishermen are very competitive.

Inside, Sarah and Piper are baking a cake. Sarah is trying to control the process and makes Piper count the eggs she put in the bowl. Piper counts 3 yolks. Sarah tries to read the directions on the cake box and says, "It's in Spanish!" Piper says "no it isn't! It says 3 egg whites!" Nobody notices that she has also put in the yolks.

Todd plays in the yard with Trig. Sarah says Todd is like Mr. Mom and she was attracted to him because he loves kids. She explains that Trig was born with Down's Syndrome, but that he is the joy of their family. Bella asks what Down's Syndrome is and I have to pause the show to try to explain it. Trig giggles when Todd tosses him up in the air -- adorable.

Willow and her friend Alex are in the yard cleaning fish with Sarah, Todd's sister Kristine and Lena. Willow says, "grabbing the guts out is my favorite part. Where's it's stomach, I want to see what it has been eating?" Isn't that how serial killers get started?! Willow says, "none of my friends do this" as she holds guts in her hand. Todd's parent's yard is full of toys and trash. You'd think they would have cleaned it up for TV.

Sarah takes a flight down to a native village to visit Todd's cousin Ina. Sarah tells Ina's kids, who are fully grown, that she has not seen them since they were babies. Nice. They tie string to Salmon so it can hang to dry out. Piper helps. Sarah asks if they have iPhone service or Internet. They just got cell phone service last year, and don't have the Internet. Sarah says it's propabably nice to be disconnected. Sarah, when have you EVER been disconnected?! In fact, you are probably reading this right now. Piper says she is the "best fish fileter in third grade."

Ina has 7 kids. Sarah AGAIN says that she has 5. Keep pounding that in, Sarah. Ina's youngest son Matthew has Down's Syndrome, which came as a surprise when he was born. Sarah tells Piper Matthew has Down's and says, "just like Trigve" -- which means "Hey, bloggers - I didn't name him after his condition! I named him after Trigve!" So transparent. She says she knew Trig had Down's Syndrome for "months" before she had him, so she had "all those months to prepare."

Sarah and Piper meet Matthew for the first time. Sarah cries, and says that it gives her a glimpse into Trig's future. She hopes that Trig will always be treated like just one of the other kids and that "people will expect work out of him." Okay. Piper wants Matthew to come with them. Sarah says she wishes he could. Then they get in the plane and take off, leaving the native Eskimo part of Todd's family behind. Bella says, "Awww, that's cute." I want to scream.

Back in Dillingham, the storage garage for the fishing gear is a mess. Sarah and Todd complain about what a disaster it is and how Track is irresponsible. Then they clean the whole thing out for him, while Track sleeps. They send Piper downstairs to wake him up. Not to be all Sarah Palin, but I would not have sent my small daughter down into a basement where 2 grown men are sleeping. Track's friend was shirtless. Who knows what else she could have accidentally seen.

Track and his "crew" go fishing. Willow feeds Trig banana baby food. Tripp walks around in a diaper. Sarah, Todd and Piper go down to the beach to meet up with Track. On the boat, Sarah complains that she has gnats stuck to her lips. They clean out the fishing nets while Sarah cleans down the boat with a brush. Todd "takes over" because he fears the nets will get stuck in the mud. Track says his dad is "paranoid" and is visibly angry at Todd. His friend says Track is "annoyed." Track seems like a whiny, lazy brat.

It's Willow's "sweet 16" birthday party. Sarah asks Piper for help with the streamers and Piper says, "I'll pass." Sarah joins Todd at the grill outside and says she's so lucky to have him and AGAIN says they have raised 5 kids together (Geez, Sarah, we get it!) Lena says a nice grace at Willow's party, while Willow stands behind her and makes faces. She is wearing a "Beehive" shirt to advertise Sarah's favorite salon. Sarah goes over to Trig, who is sleeping on the sofa, and gives him a kiss and ruffles his hair - in the middle of his nap! Willow got "some clothes and some money" for her birthday, but she really wanted a truck. She doesn't understand why her parent's didn't buy her one, because she is a "really good kid." Does nobody in this family have a memory?! Right after saying how well behaved she is, she pushes Piper's face right into her birthday cake and then yells out, "Piper! You ruined my cake!"

The men, Willow and Piper head back out fishing on Becker's boat, and this time get 3,000 pounds of fish. Probably because Sarah's voice didn't scare them away this time. Willow says she doesn't mind getting all slimy on her birthday. There is a part of her that wants to be like her mom, who has been fishing on Bristol Bay for a long time. Becker is kind of creepy when he says, "you look like your mom when I met her 18 years ago, but I can't remember who is cuter." Willow says, "ME! I am cuter!"

They go out to shoot off fireworks at 11:36 pm. It is not dark, but not bright. Track is wearing dark glasses. Tripp sleeps in the truck, but Sarah holds her little prop Trig, hugs him, and shows him fireworks. Who cares if it is almost midnight and he is only 2. Bella says that Trig and Piper look "so much alike." Interesting observation, and I have to say, I agree.

Sarah says that, as her first born, Track will always have her heart. She is proud to see him taking over Todd's business. She hopes one day they will pass the business on to Piper. I'm sure she'll be thrilled.

Next week...bear hunting with Chuck!


Many thanks again to Leadfoot_LA and Bella for another great review!

Here is a clip from this episode - the Palinbots are of course completely smitten. Therefore, "Sarah Palin's Alaska" surely helps to "keep the dream of the Palinbots alive." For everybody else who is not suffering from delusions and has actually bothered to make research about Sarah and her family, it's an American nightmare, and unfortunately it's just about to begin.

Our reader sleuth again captured the live chat on Palingates which took place during the broadcast of this episode - you can download the transcript of the chat HERE. Many thanks! I love to read the chat. Apparently there were 36 people in the chat at this time, is this correct? That's a great turnout, I am glad that you all had so much fun with Sarah. Hope she appreciates that as well. Hi, Sarah!

So we all together made sure again that we got the maximum amount of entertainment out of "Sarah, Me, Alaska." ;-)

More reviews:

The "Houston Chronicle" again does a good job with the reviews of "Team Blue" and "Team Red" (although "Team Blue" urgently should do some research about Palin's "family history" and her qualities as a mother):

Another excellent, must-read review has been published on "Salon."

Enjoy your day, Gaters!


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