Tuesday, 30 November 2010

No stopping any time: Shaking the hand of Sarah Palin in Houston and meeting her bots - A report by our reader austintxx

Jack Kerouac
Graphic by Tim Roeloffs, Berlin, 2009 - www.roeloffs1.de

Guest post by austintxx

I did it. I walked to the precipice of Palin and shook the very hand of the Queen herself. Let's start at the beginning.......
Went to the Borders on Kirby in Houston on Sunday and got the book.
Here we go.......

Up at 5am and drinkin' Texas Pecan coffee and gettin' my mind right for my hot date with Aarah......let's see...gotta have some tunes for this "journey"......Hm-m-m.......how 'bout some Southern Fried Boogie........ah , here we go......

Blackfoot "Train , Train"
Well, goodbye pretty mama, get yourself a money man
Goodbye, pretty mama, Lord, get yourself a money man
You take that midnight train to Memphis
Lord, leave me if you can
Oh, take that midnight train to Memphis
Lord, leave me if you can
Oh, take that train, baby....

Oh yeah........now we're rockin' !!
And since I got Keith Richards autobiography to "offset" sarah's "book" and read the REAL truth , we gotta have a Stones tune.........let's see.........Yup , here we go.....

Street Fighting Man by The Rolling Stones

Well , well........creeping into the parking lot before dawn..........SCRE-E-CH !! Holy shit.......is that....is that the infamous Bristol trans-continental black Dodge Ram truck ?!?! The one that has driven a gazillion miles only stopping at Taco Bell and to pick up fresh diapers for Tripp ??

Mysterious truck

Alas , upon further inspection and a good sniffing , it is not Bristol's ride.

Park car and sashay up to the battlefield......er......Borders. Walk around corner and am greeted by a pack of bristling satellite trucks.

TV truck

I walk down the parking lot along the sidewalk to my place in the slowly growing line. I pass the group that has been sitting there since 5-F***ING-o'clock on SUNDAY.

Fans queuing at night

I can POSITIVELY tell you that I was the 49th person in line. It is still dark at 6 am-ish and I'm gettin' hungry. Usually by now I would've had breakfast.......Oh dear God !!....I hear a chirpy voice saying "Donuts".......I turn to see a woman who is trying her best to look like sarah. Trendy glasses , check. Flag pin , check. Bangs , check. Pose for me ?? You betcha' !!

Lady with donut box 2

Donut 2

So I'm making small talk with a teacher who has skipped school for this and I'm thinkin' "Maybe if Piper is here you can tutor her"....
Dawn is barely breaking and I decide to take a smoke and my new friend will hold my place in line as I step down the sidewalk...

E-e-e-e-ek.........it's a wet , dead f***ing mouse !!

Dead mouse

I instantly think I should shout out "She's here !! Look what fell out of her hair"........but think better of it since I came to meet her and did not want to make the natives restless.....

So-o-o-o.........just making small talk with my new friends....and notice a woman coming down the line with a clipboard and talking to people.........she is kinda sideways so I can't quite see what is on her hoodie......she is now one person away and I hear her saying " You should visit the site , it's ONLY the truth , with documents and everything" I think for a millisecond "Palingates" ???? She is now in front of me and I glance down and look at the front of her hoodie.............. I almost do a fucking backflip flatfooted right there !! There IS a God and he has dropped this C4P bot right in front of me !!!!!!! I make benign small talk as to not tip my hand and sweetly ask if I may take her picture. My prey must not , WILL NOT escape me.

Ladies and Gentleman , I present you with a picture of a real live C4P bot.

C4P bot

C4P bot 2

A Borders employee comes down the line and reads us the "rules" and casually tosses out that "Piper and Willow are here" and "Will work the Line".........SURELY God is not going to bless me TWICE today !!

TV cameras

The door pops open and away we go.......this whole part went really fast.......they have it down....we were led upstairs and herded down a book aisle and you didn't lay eyes on sarah til the last minute. She was wearing a lime green dress with a double row of faux brass buttons and the same black stripper shoes that I saw her wear to the First Baptist Church. She looked me right in the eye and shook my hand semi-firmly and briefly clasped her left hand over my hand as she shook it. She then signed my book and again made full eye contact and thanked me. If I didn't know her the way we do , I would have fallen for her charms. She's good.

Never saw Willow or Piper. Not to say they weren't there........I was in the first 50 people and we flew thru..........

No regrets.


Bonus - By Patrick:

Austintxx, thank you so much again for another very special report, and for your initiative. I can already announce that there will be a "sequel" to this report in the near future!

By the way, for austintxx, "Sarah" is "sarah." That's just the way it is. ;-)

Due to the fact that we are just the nicest people on earth, I have obscured the faces of the "bots", despite the fact that the pictures were taken with their express permission. Somehow I feel for these people who are being misled by a crazy, lying woman from Wasilla. I guess I am too kind-hearted.

As many more people start to realize that Sarah Palin is in fact dead serious about running for President, and in light of the fact that she receives quite strong poll numbers, we also finally see rumblings of open Republican opposition - "Morning Joe" Scarborough threw down the gauntlet in an article on Politico:

What man or mouse with a fully functioning human brain and a résumé as thin as Palin’s would flirt with a presidential run? It makes the political biography of Barack Obama look more like Winston Churchill’s, despite the fact that the 44th president breezed into the Oval Office as little more than a glorified state senator.

Still, Palin is undeterred, charging ahead maniacally while declaring her intention to run for the top office in the land if “nobody else will.” Adding audacity to this dopey dream is that Palin can’t stop herself from taking swings at Republican giants. In the past month alone, she has mocked Ronald Reagan’s credentials, dismissed George H.W. and Barbara Bush as arrogant “blue bloods” and blamed George W. Bush for wrecking the economy.

Wow. That’ll win ’em over in Iowa.

One can only guess what comes next on Palin’s bizarre road show. Maybe the publishing world’s favorite reality star can keep drawing attention and selling billions of books by spitting on John Wayne’s grave or “manning up” by shooting an American bald eagle.

Or how about this? Maybe Palin could show up on Fox News and build her weak résumé by tearing down Reagan’s.

Oh, wait. Been there, done that.

When Sean Hannity asked Palin whether being in a reality show diminished her standing to be president, the former half-term governor mocked Reagan’s biography, dismissing him as “an actor.”

Sounding like every left-wing politician and media elitist who ridiculed Reagan for decades, Palin sneered that she could be president if the actor from “Bedtime for Bonzo” managed to do so.

Hey, Joe, I think we should have a chat! ;-)

Here is the clip from "Morning Joe" I have always waited for - the clip was already hotly discussed in our comments, and not everybody is a friend of Joe Scarborough, but I am very, very happy:

Facebook rant in 3...2...1.

Sarah Palin cannot deal with any criticism, and neither can her bots. This will continue to be Palin's "achilles' heel", as any open opposition will drive her nuts.

Apparently Phil Munger wants us to have sleepless nights, when he writes:

At least until she becomes president. Then it's "find the nearest bunker" for bloggers like the ones at Palingates.

Just joking.

The USA is the last remaining global imperial power and, according to Sarah Palin and her followers, "exceptional" and therefore deserves a special place in this world.

However, with the publication by Wikileaks of these US embassy cables, it's obvious that certain things are awkwardly "off balance." For example, some Arab or Middle Eastern countries apparently regard the USA in the first case as a useful tool to do the dirty work for them, and China for example is difficult to challenge as China owns a huge portion of the US debt. Wikipedia notes that "In May 2009, the US owed China $772 billion." How do you give your banker a pep talk?

Simon Jenkins wrote a brilliant article in "The Guardian" and made for example the following observations:

The revelations do not have the startling, coldblooded immediacy of the WikiLeaks war logs from Iraq and Afghanistan, with their astonishing insight into the minds of fighting men seemingly detached from the ethics of war. These disclosures are largely of analysis and high-grade gossip. Insofar as they are sensational, it is in showing the corruption and mendacity of those in power, and the mismatch between what they claim and what they do.

Few will be surprised to know that Vladimir Putin runs the world's most sensational kleptocracy, that the Saudis wanted the Americans to bomb Iran, or that Pakistan's ISI is hopelessly involved with Taliban groups of fiendish complexity. We now know that Washington knows too. (...)

The job of the media is not to protect power from embarrassment. If American spies are breaking United Nations rules by seeking the DNA biometrics of the UN director general, he is entitled to hear of it. British voters should know what Afghan leaders thought of British troops. American (and British) taxpayers might question, too, how most of the billions of dollars going in aid to Afghanistan simply exits the country at Kabul airport.

No harm is done by high-class chatter about President Nicolas Sarkozy's vulgarity and lack of house-training, or about the British royal family. What the American embassy in London thinks about the coalition suggests not an alliance at risk but an embassy with a talent problem. (...)

The money‑wasting is staggering. Aid payments are never followed, never audited, never evaluated. The impression is of the world's superpower roaming helpless in a world in which nobody behaves as bidden. Iran, Russia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen, the United Nations, are all perpetually off script. Washington reacts like a wounded bear, its instincts imperial but its power projection unproductive.

America's foreign policy is revealed as a slave to rightwing drift, terrified of a bomb exploding abroad or of a pro-Israeli congressman at home. If the cables tell of the progress to war over Iran or Pakistan or Gaza or Yemen, their revelation might help debate the inanity of policies which, as Patterson says, seem to be leading in just that direction. Perhaps we can now see how catastrophe unfolds when there is time to avert it, rather than having to await a Chilcot report after the event. If that is not in the public's interest, I fail to see what is.

But don't expect Sarah Palin to understand ANY of these arguments.



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