Oh yeah........now we're rockin' !!
Well , well........creeping into the parking lot before dawn..........SCRE-E-CH !! Holy shit.......is that....is that the infamous Bristol trans-continental black Dodge Ram truck ?!?! The one that has driven a gazillion miles only stopping at Taco Bell and to pick up fresh diapers for Tripp ??
Alas , upon further inspection and a good sniffing , it is not Bristol's ride.
Park car and sashay up to the battlefield......er......Borders. Walk around corner and am greeted by a pack of bristling satellite trucks.
I walk down the parking lot along the sidewalk to my place in the slowly growing line. I pass the group that has been sitting there since 5-F***ING-o'clock on SUNDAY.
I can POSITIVELY tell you that I was the 49th person in line. It is still dark at 6 am-ish and I'm gettin' hungry. Usually by now I would've had breakfast.......Oh dear God !!....I hear a chirpy voice saying "Donuts".......I turn to see a woman who is trying her best to look like sarah. Trendy glasses , check. Flag pin , check. Bangs , check. Pose for me ?? You betcha' !!
So I'm making small talk with a teacher who has skipped school for this and I'm thinkin' "Maybe if Piper is here you can tutor her"....
Dawn is barely breaking and I decide to take a smoke and my new friend will hold my place in line as I step down the sidewalk...
E-e-e-e-ek.........it's a wet , dead f***ing mouse !!
I instantly think I should shout out "She's here !! Look what fell out of her hair"........but think better of it since I came to meet her and did not want to make the natives restless.....
So-o-o-o.........just making small talk with my new friends....and notice a woman coming down the line with a clipboard and talking to people.........she is kinda sideways so I can't quite see what is on her hoodie......she is now one person away and I hear her saying " You should visit the site , it's ONLY the truth , with documents and everything" I think for a millisecond "Palingates" ???? She is now in front of me and I glance down and look at the front of her hoodie.............. I almost do a fucking backflip flatfooted right there !! There IS a God and he has dropped this C4P bot right in front of me !!!!!!! I make benign small talk as to not tip my hand and sweetly ask if I may take her picture. My prey must not , WILL NOT escape me.
Ladies and Gentleman , I present you with a picture of a real live C4P bot.
A Borders employee comes down the line and reads us the "rules" and casually tosses out that "Piper and Willow are here" and "Will work the Line".........SURELY God is not going to bless me TWICE today !!
The door pops open and away we go.......this whole part went really fast.......they have it down....we were led upstairs and herded down a book aisle and you didn't lay eyes on sarah til the last minute. She was wearing a lime green dress with a double row of faux brass buttons and the same black stripper shoes that I saw her wear to the First Baptist Church. She looked me right in the eye and shook my hand semi-firmly and briefly clasped her left hand over my hand as she shook it. She then signed my book and again made full eye contact and thanked me. If I didn't know her the way we do , I would have fallen for her charms. She's good.
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Bonus - By Patrick:
Austintxx, thank you so much again for another very special report, and for your initiative. I can already announce that there will be a "sequel" to this report in the near future!
By the way, for austintxx, "Sarah" is "sarah." That's just the way it is. ;-)
Due to the fact that we are just the nicest people on earth, I have obscured the faces of the "bots", despite the fact that the pictures were taken with their express permission. Somehow I feel for these people who are being misled by a crazy, lying woman from Wasilla. I guess I am too kind-hearted.
What man or mouse with a fully functioning human brain and a résumé as thin as Palin’s would flirt with a presidential run? It makes the political biography of Barack Obama look more like Winston Churchill’s, despite the fact that the 44th president breezed into the Oval Office as little more than a glorified state senator.
Hey, Joe, I think we should have a chat! ;-)
Facebook rant in 3...2...1.
Sarah Palin cannot deal with any criticism, and neither can her bots. This will continue to be Palin's "achilles' heel", as any open opposition will drive her nuts.
At least until she becomes president. Then it's "find the nearest bunker" for bloggers like the ones at Palingates. Just joking.
The USA is the last remaining global imperial power and, according to Sarah Palin and her followers, "exceptional" and therefore deserves a special place in this world.
However, with the publication by Wikileaks of these US embassy cables, it's obvious that certain things are awkwardly "off balance." For example, some Arab or Middle Eastern countries apparently regard the USA in the first case as a useful tool to do the dirty work for them, and China for example is difficult to challenge as China owns a huge portion of the US debt. Wikipedia notes that "In May 2009, the US owed China $772 billion." How do you give your banker a pep talk?
The revelations do not have the startling, coldblooded immediacy of the WikiLeaks war logs from Iraq and Afghanistan, with their astonishing insight into the minds of fighting men seemingly detached from the ethics of war. These disclosures are largely of analysis and high-grade gossip. Insofar as they are sensational, it is in showing the corruption and mendacity of those in power, and the mismatch between what they claim and what they do. But don't expect Sarah Palin to understand ANY of these arguments.
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