Lyrics:
The Election's long since over
GOP sits flaccid, dressin' right
Tea baggin' only excites a few
No vision to carry gently thru the night
Mike Steele holds court in strip clubs
And the Base, the great wide open for all to see
All hate that fascist socialist commie Prez
'Though they don't know what that means
But they always vote their conscience
Race and gender always take a pass
The libs, some voted Hilary
But they sure weren't votin' for her ass
Then one that shoulda gone away
But stayed, so bright was her flame
Men's spines and such, they stiffen
At the mere mention of her name
Chorus
Oh Sarah!
High-heels and that tight black skirt
Oh Sarah!
Whatchu hidin' 'neath that shirt
Oh Sarah!
I wanna roll you in some Yukon dirt
Elected? Hell Erected!
You naughty little flirt
She's a wild northern nutball
A real Klondike Clam
She's very nicely packaged
But dumb as twice baked ham
She wears them sexy glasses
And the men folk listen when she talks
But mostly what wanna be
Is behind her when she walks
Chorus
I see her on the TV
Makes me do some serious wishin'
I can damn near smell the salmon
And little ol' me ain't even fishin'
She then gave away her title
As Alaska's virgin queen
Now every trailer park princess
Wants to live the salmon dream
..and swim upstream.. d'ya know what I mean
Chorus
Her hair just flows so softly
Or gets piled atop her head
She's now been bought and paid for
I suppose her candidacy is dead
She's pretty good to look at
But just a whore without a bed
I bet her final indignation
Will be a nekked Playboy spread
Chorus
GOP sits flaccid, dressin' right
Tea baggin' only excites a few
No vision to carry gently thru the night
Mike Steele holds court in strip clubs
And the Base, the great wide open for all to see
All hate that fascist socialist commie Prez
'Though they don't know what that means
But they always vote their conscience
Race and gender always take a pass
The libs, some voted Hilary
But they sure weren't votin' for her ass
Then one that shoulda gone away
But stayed, so bright was her flame
Men's spines and such, they stiffen
At the mere mention of her name
Chorus
Oh Sarah!
High-heels and that tight black skirt
Oh Sarah!
Whatchu hidin' 'neath that shirt
Oh Sarah!
I wanna roll you in some Yukon dirt
Elected? Hell Erected!
You naughty little flirt
She's a wild northern nutball
A real Klondike Clam
She's very nicely packaged
But dumb as twice baked ham
She wears them sexy glasses
And the men folk listen when she talks
But mostly what wanna be
Is behind her when she walks
Chorus
I see her on the TV
Makes me do some serious wishin'
I can damn near smell the salmon
And little ol' me ain't even fishin'
She then gave away her title
As Alaska's virgin queen
Now every trailer park princess
Wants to live the salmon dream
..and swim upstream.. d'ya know what I mean
Chorus
Her hair just flows so softly
Or gets piled atop her head
She's now been bought and paid for
I suppose her candidacy is dead
She's pretty good to look at
But just a whore without a bed
I bet her final indignation
Will be a nekked Playboy spread
Chorus
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Many thanks to Neal Paisley who sent a message of support to Palingates together with these clever lyrics!
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UPDATE (by Patrick):
Our open thread today was "right on target"! The "naughty little flirt" Sarah Palin appeared today at the horse race in Belmont Park, Elmond, New York (click to enlarge):
One year ago, for American Chopper, Sarah looked much less impressive - but as some of our readers noted, the right choice of bra can move mountains:
It was a flat affair when Sarah appeared on Oprah, also, too:
The Lamestream media, for example the New York Times (God bless them), was happy to receive from the Palins the usual made-up "Palin-drama" which looks so good in these little gossip columns:
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Because we all have so much fun today, I would like to throw another one in, from OTOOLEFAN's great fun page:
Sarah Palin's childhood home was furnished in early Death Panel.
UPDATE 2 (by Patrick):
Sarah Palin's "limo driver got lost" story, which has duly been repeated by the media, for example in the NYDailyNews (very good pic there of her "refurbished" chest, by the way)...
"The couple's limo driver got lost during the ride from Kennedy Airport, leaving them with no time to stop off at their hotel to change."...can safely be classified as another attention-seeking "odd lie" - Andrew Sullivan, please take note!
The distance between JFK airport and Belmont Park is: 10 miles = 13 minute drive (up to 30 minutes in traffic).
UPDATE 3 (by Patrick):
I would like to quote an observation by one of our brilliant readers:
"Don't know if anyone brought this up regarding the Belmont pictures but Sarah's lie is just that, a lie. Look over her right shoulder.. see that man in the dark glasses? She has three bodyguards that shield her whenever she's away from Wasilla. There is NO way in hell she was late to NY or the limo got lost. She has a pre-appearance meeting to discuss her routes and where she will go at the location. The body guards ride in separate vehicles. Lost my arse! Secondly, Sarah uses the same body guard service and Hannity and Beck. The guards are Secret Service trained and some are former Secret Service agents that left because of the money and perks."
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UPDATE 4:
Not that the Wasilla Hillbillies would ever care.
I am starting to feel really sorry for Wasilla. ;-)
These were the hosts of Sarah Palin at Belmont Park:
"Sarah Palin visits Belmont as the guest of Saratoga Springs socialite Marylou Whitney and her husband John Hendrickson, who used to be in politics in Alaska, where Palin used to be governor."
I wonder what Marylou Whitney thought about the attire of the Palins. That's her - the picture was apparently taken at a horse race:
Our reader Kasha Knish also found a very good picture of the 84-year-old heiress Marylou Whitney and her 45-year-old husband John Hendrickson HERE (they married when she was 72 and he was 32):
In addition, thanks again to Kasha Knish for the link to the great article in New York Magazine titled "Driving Mrs. Whitney", which was originally published in 1998.
Excerpt:
"She announced their engagement several months before he got around to formally asking her to marry him. But when it finally came, the proposal scene -- Buckingham Palace, no less -- was worthy of one of Marylou's own theme parties. They were attending a reception hosted by Prince Philip. John feigned an etiquette problem to get Marylou away from the crowd and alone with him in the Blue Drawing Room, where the royals assemble before going onto the balcony to wave to the crowds. "I said, 'Marylou, you are the queen of my heart, and I want you to be my bride.' "
Her reply? "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Before returning to the reception to receive the congratulations of Prince Philip, John slipped a 13-karat diamond-and-sapphire ring of his own design on her finger. They were married on a mountaintop in Alaska in October 1997, with Wally Hickel officiating. Christmas that year was notable for Marylou's now-famous cards that showed the couple -- with toothy white smiles -- on a dogsled in Alaska and bore the caption MARYLOU WHITNEY HAS A NEW DRIVER!"
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Here are more details regarding Marylou's husband John Hendrickson, and his political connection to Alaska. John was an aide to Wally Hickel:
In October 1997, when she was 72 years old Marylou (b. Marie Louise Schroeder 1925) married John Hendrickson, a (then) 32-year-old tennis champ and former aide to Governor Walter Joseph Hickel of Alaska. She met the very-junior John Hendrickson when she was in Alaska helping to ready her dog team for the Iditarod at a dinner party held by Governor Hickel. According to accounts there was an immediate attraction and she began spending a lot more time in Alaska. Hendrickson is no lightweight and had been managing land holdings in Alaska, so it is not surprising that later, as a vice president, he joined Whitney Industries, a lumber and logging business with 51,000 acres of critical Adirondack real estate.
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UPDATE 5:
We can now shine more light into the mysterious story of Sarah's limo-drive to nowhere!
I will go on the record and say that I am 100% convinced that Sarah's and Todd's hotel in New York is the "Garden City Hotel".
There are several reasons for that.
Timesunion.com reported:
I am convinced that the Palins stay in the "Garden City Hotel", which is located in Garden City - just next to the race track, which makes Palin's story absolutely unbelievable. One of the reasons for my belief is that this is one of the few hotels which is featured on the Belmont Stakes website (thanks, mxm!). The interior would just fit Sarah Palin's needs for a "deluxe" hotel:
But there is more.
Seems the limo driver picked the Palins up at JFK And then got lost going to their hotel in Garden City. No time to change so it was off to the track.
"Typical Alaskans," she said with a laugh. "We were a couple hours late but everyone has been so hospitable and accepting of the garb."
But there is more.
In the description on the Belmont Stakes website, it says:
"Since 1874, The Garden City Hotel has offered spacious guest rooms and luxurious suites to discriminating travelers. This inviting Garden City hotel has been a favorite of the rich and famous, including the Vanderbilts, Astors, Kennedys, and Clintons. From our post-Civil War beginnings to the Roaring Twenties, the dawn of suburbia to the new millennium, we've provided the highest-quality services and accommodations. In the early 1980s, current owner Myron Nelkin built the existing Garden City Hotel. Since then, this world-class Garden City, New York hotel has been guided by the Nelkin family - who continue to uphold the tradition of elegance and service first established 125 years ago."The Vanderbilts, Astors, Kennedys and Clintons?
Well...guess what the background is of Marylou Whitney, Sarah Palin's host:
"After her divorce she married Cornelius Vanderbilt "Sonny" Whitney in 1958 and they had one child, Cornelia. CV "Sonny" Whitney died in 1992, leaving Marylou with an estate estimated at the time of $100 million."Case closed.
So, would the Garden City Hotel as one of the premier hotels in New York City be difficult to find for a high-society limo driver? ;-)
Not really. As I mentioned before, it's just next to the Belmont Stakes race track.
Sarah Palin is the eternal, compulsive liar. One thing that will never change - ever.
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UPDATE 6:
Another update - rather unexpected, but Kathleen and I suddenly remembered something!
Remember when Danielle Crittenden, David Frum's wife, live-twittered Sarah Palin's speech in Canada on April 15, 2010? This was one of the most hilarious "live-twittering actions" ever, and we featured this in a post.
There was one piece of information given by Danielle Crittenden in her live-tweets which really shines a light into the true soul of Sarah Palin - given the events we have seen today in New York:
"You have to obey my dress code! But I don't give a damn about yours! That's the roguish Palin way! OBEY!"
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