It is with a heavy heart that we begin tonight’s recap. But Bella and I have decided to finish the task that we started 8 weeks ago, and review the final episode. I have explained to Bella what happened in Arizona yesterday, and she had lots of questions. It is incredibly hard to explain to a 7-year-old why people sometimes get shot and killed as they go about their business. I try my best.
Bella says she hates Sarah Palin. I tell her that we shouldn’t hate anyone, not even Sarah Palin. “Are we allowed to really, really, really not like her?,” she asks. Absolutely, I tell her.
Before we turn on the TV, we light a candle for little Christina Green and the others who were killed and injured, and place it on the coffee table in front of us. My intent is to tone down the snark during this recap, but we will see how it goes.
The Palins (Sarah, Todd, Bristol, Tripp, Willow, Piper – no Track), Creepy Chuck, Sally, and Chuck Jr. head to a reindeer farm to feed reindeer. One is very aggressive with Sarah and she says, “JEEZ Todd!,” as if it is his fault. Todd just grins at her. He definitely really, really, really does not like her. They also feed a moose bananas. Sarah doesn’t want to put one in her mouth and feed it to the moose like the guide does, so she makes Willow do it.
Next they head to Valdez in yet another private plane. She says Creepy Chuck “taught her to think for herself, work hard, and embrace challenges,” and now she wants to pass those lessons on to Piper. From the plane, she points out the Trans Alaska Oil Pipeline. Piper says her teacher told her about it. Sarah says, “so where does it end up?” Piper answers, “in the water.” Sarah says, “NO! Heaven forbid!” But she doesn’t tell her where it actually ends up. I guess Piper’s teacher wasn’t too great, and her mother, the great energy expert, never taught her about it either.
They go kayaking at the Valdez Glacier. Sarah says that when she was a student, she used to “bail on her own class” to go join her dad’s class. You don’t say, Sarah. YOU skipped school?! Shocker.
Piper is cute as she splashes and teases Sarah in the kayaks. Sarah, again showing off her complete lack of sensitivity, tells her, “don’t hit the iceberg, Piper, it’s like the Titanic.” They go into an ice cave that Sarah describes as “awesome.”
Sarah says that she learned from her dad when she was a little girl that “this isn’t a dress rehearsal. We want to seize the moment, get out there and enjoy, see it first hand. What I’m doing is passing on the tradition to our children now.” I look over at Bella and she looks very sad. I ask what is wrong and she says, “I don’t like the spinach on my pizza.” Relieved, I smile and tell her she can pick it off.
They get out of the kayaks and walk onto an iceberg. In a small cave, they see a hole and Sarah says, “if you fell in there, you’d never come back out.” Bella and I look at each other at the same time and just grin. We both know what the other is thinking.
They go out on a boat and see cute baby seals. Sarah says, “I have a beautiful seal skin purse that an Eskimo lady made me.” Why she would tell this to 2 kids who are enjoying the seals is beyond me. Piper gets to steer the boat to the end of the pipeline, where Sarah explains the history of it and how it affects the economy.
At the Cripple River gold mining camp in Nome, they have to take ATVs to get to the beach. Sarah says she wants the powerful one, but only if it is all automatic. She can’t drive stick. It is, so she hops on and drives off without a helmet. Piper rides with Chuck Jr. (and Piper does wear a helmet).
They get to the beach and Sarah says it is time to “dig baby dig.” She wants to know if finding gold is a matter of luck or hard work. The guide says it is a combination of both. The Palins divide into two teams to see who finds the most gold, because they turn EVERYTHING into a competition. Sarah says that Chuck Jr. is colorblind and Creepy Chuck is deaf, so she and Piper will win. But then she adds that Piper is wild. Piper responds, “and you are crazy.” YES. Best line of the whole series.
Piper wants to sell her gold on eBay because she wants to be rich. She tells her cousin she is going to sell all of it, for “a couple thousand.” He says he is selling his for 80. Piper says, “eighty thousand?” He says, “no, eighty dollars.” Ha! I hope someone pulls Piper aside and tells her that if she really wants to be rich, she should sell the story of who REALLY gave birth to Trig.
They camp on the beach in Nome and Sarah says some people accuse her of being a Diva, but that they just laugh at that and say, “yah, it is all diva all the time up here in Alaska.”
Sarah leaves the kids on shore with Creepy Chuck while she and Chuck Jr. take the boat out for some underwater gold mining. Sarah is responsible for staying on deck and making sure the divers below have air. Chuck Jr. says, “my life is in your hands, Sarah, don’t forget that.” They say a quick prayer and he descends. She discusses the danger of the dive, but says it is worth it because they can bring in $2,000 worth of gold every hour. They find a big nugget and lots of little flakes.
Back on land, they decide to search for blueberries. Piper says it is muddy and gross. Sarah calls her “Piper Diaper” and says she “needs a nap.” Nope, no divas in sight.
They see a herd of muskox and Sarah says that if someone is going to threaten a baby muskox, the adults all surround and protect the baby. In fact, in her last speech as governor, she “used the example of a muskox protecting its young and thought that she is probably the only Governor in the nation who knows what a muskox is all about and how it is applicable to how we should be as a society.” I think of Cristina Green and I feel my ears and cheeks get red and hot with anger.
Next they fly back to Wasilla for the Anchorage air show. Todd has a “serious passion for aviation.” We see scenes of the Blue Angels performance. Sarah says it was so great, she can “die and go to heaven now.” I don’t think that’s where she’s headed. No mention at all is made of how 4 died at that same air show.
They take the gold they found during the weekend the Alaskan Mint to have gifts made for Sally and Creepy Chuck. Piper uses the torch to melt the gold. Sarah takes over halfway through. She is impressed by how it just takes “hands on, blue collar work to turn the gold into something pretty.” They make a ring for Sally and a plaque for Creepy Chuck.
Piper, Sarah, Chuck, Jr. and Sarah’s nephew present the gifts for Creepy Chuck and Sally. Sally is very surprised and gets emotional. Todd holds Trig, who drinks from a bottle at age 2-1/2.
When it ends, I ask Bella if she has any final thoughts. She says, “Yes, if I ever watch this show again, I will barf.” LOL!! I can’t think of any better closing words, so I’ll just say I agree!
Advertisers who did not pull their ads and allowed them to air during this episode: David’s Bridal Hunt’s tomatoes Discover card Caltrate soft chews Old Navy Silk soy milk Geico Blue cat food Weight Watchers Rm & Hammer Oxi Clean laundry detergent Kashi Go Lean cereals Keller University (DeVry) Scrubbing Bubbles Chevy (the Cruze) Huggies Tide GoToMyPC.com Swiffer Special K Centrum Silver The Art Institutes Magic Jack Arriva Medical
Thank you Leadfoot and Bella for going the extra distance last night and really taking one for the team, especially at this difficult time. As I previously mentioned in the comments, the decision to watch was Leadfoot and Bellas and I absolutely support and respect their wish to finish something that they started. Unlike Sarah Palin, Leadfoot and Bella decided that they were not going to "bail out" just because they might, understandably, prefer to do anything other than sit through two hours of Sarah Palin and her endless promotion of herself. Palingates is very proud to post this final report on Sarah Palin's Alaska and hope that we can tempt Leadfoot and Bella back for further guest musings.
Well, he's now her prop stalker. She pulls him out when she's been called to task She's never met him. He's never been in the state of Alaska. He also stalked Obama and McCain by letters. He's a poor bi-polar kid who lives in PA and is too broke to get a ticket to Alaska. He's under a restraining order. But Sarah just has to tell everyone he wants the order lifted. Instead of getting security and STFU like most people do about these things she's trying to deflect the shit storm that has fallen down on her.
I must say that this victim play is one of the MOST DISGUSTING things she's ever done after what just happened. Her timing sucks playing this victim game after what has happened to those poor people in Arizona.