I remembered a couple of old jokes today.
A dog is walking down the street when he spots an ad for a secretary in an employment agency window. He walks in and applies for the job.
The agent is not very keen on sending a dog for an interview and tries to fob him off.
"The job is for a very high caliber secretary, capable of typing at least 120 words a minute."
"Do you have a keyboard handy?"
The dog produces impeccable text in record time.
"Do I get an interview?"
"Actually, the company is asking for shorthand as well."
"Give me a notepad and dictate anything."
Again, the dog was wonderful.
The agent kept asking for one thing after another and the dog didn't put a foot wrong.
Finally, the agent had a brainwave.
"Actually, the company insists on a bi-lingual secretary!"
The dog was stumped for a moment, then he said:
A city guy is driving down a country road when he sees a pig with a wooden leg in a field. Being an animal lover, he has to stop and talk to the farmer.
"What a lovely wooden leg you made for your pig!"
"Yes, it's made of the finest oak. I made it myself."
"What an outstanding job! Such fine craftsmanship, and the pig looks really comfortable with it."
"Oh, yes, he got used to it very quickly. The wooden leg is padded and the pig goes around very happy and it's fattening up nicely."
"I'm absolutely amazed! You must love this pig very much."
"That I do. The whole family loves him."
"What a remarkable family, showing this creature so much love!"
"Yes, yes, that's why we're eating him bit by bit..."