Saturday, 27 March 2010

Sarah Palin and TLC - Perfect Together

By Virgina Voter

Let me begin this post by acknowledging and commending the members of the Palingates community who wrote to Discovery Networks to protest Sarah's deal for eight episodes. My take is a little more "glass half full". I would encourage readers to head on over to the TLC website and take a look at their show lineup -

When TLC first came on air, they did shows about women giving birth, life saving medical procedures, and weddings. The network has devolved into a tabloidish look at the lives of the physically challenged, dysfunctional families, and psychologically disturbed individuals with shows like The Little Couple, Hoarders-Buried Alive, and I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Often, characters on the network cross promote themselves on other shows. This is where Sarah and the Palin family can really shine, and it is quite literally a marriage made in heaven with endless possibilities for entertainment. For example, the Duggar family (of 19 Kids and Counting) traveled to New York City to visit the Kleinfeld bridal boutique (of Say Yes to the Dress) so Michelle Duggar could get a dress for her vow renewal, and Kate Gosselin and her kids traveled to Baltimore to make cakes at the "Ace of Cakes" bakery, Charm City.

TLC shows

The Palins can provide their unique Wasillabilly charm to many TLC shows:

"What Not To Wear"- Undercover cameras will follow Sarah around in her many "fashion don'ts". We'll watch as hosts Clinton and Stacy confront Sarah about her hideous garments and get her dressed in the 360 degree mirror in all her favorite outfits. They'll rip her to shreds, and make fun of her rose petal jacket, Fidel Castro hat, crushed velvet Hogwarts coat, and purple suede boots. Sarah will have to throw everything away...she will accuse Stacy and Clinton of being evil libruls paid by Axelrod and Obama. The audience can watch in delight as Sarah's hair extensions are removed. The makeup artist will tell Sarah that less is more, and orange is the color of fruit, not blush.

"Toddlers & Tiaras"- Piper Palin will finally be the one in the spotlight as she competes in the Little Miss Perfect Pageant. Sarah will hire a fabulous gay pageant coach and tell him that she doesn't believe that he has the right to legally get married. Piper will get a fake tan, fake hair, and fake teeth and sport her mom's Oprah show hair style. Piper gets perfect scores for her pageant wave (she's had alot of practice) and tells the crowd in the interview portion that when she grows up she wants to be a common sense conservative, because it pays lots of money. She says she doesn't know what it means, but that doesn't stop her Mom. When Piper gets crowned Miss Congeniality, Sarah storms up to the stage to make a speech about the evils of Obamacare.

19 Kids and Counting- The Palin family will travel to Arkansas for Sunday church and dinner with the Duggars. Sarah, Bristol and Willow will get "make-unders" as they are stripped of their high heels,daisy dukes, tight tees, jeans, and makeup and forced to wear ankle length skirts and flats. After church Michelle and Sarah swap labor and delivery stories. Michelle's jaw hits the floor when Sarah tells her "Wild Ride" fable. Piper cries when it's time to leave...she wants to stay and play with the Duggar kids, most of her mom's trips are spent with old people.

Kate plus Eight (Jon's off the new show)- Kate Gosselin welcomes Sarah to Pennsylvania for a few days of grifting, lying, and general media whoredom. They hang out together tanning on Kate's front lawn waiting for paparazzi to show up, then pretend they don't want to be photographed. Kate and Sarah realize they are soul sisters. They both have ghostwritten crappy books. They have a penchant for hair extensions, tanning, working out, and using their kids as props. The dynamic duo have a "who has been on the most tabloid covers contest" and try to one up each other on how much free swag they've scored. Kate and Sarah swap tips on how to get other people to pay for everything. Kate decides to start a PAC because she wants to run for governor of Pennsylvania (well not really, but her fans don't need to know that). Unfortunately, by the end of the episode, they try to out Diva one another, and a huge cat fight ensues.

AND FINALLY- I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant....that episode has already been written.

Sarah Palin on 1 March 2008 !!
Sarah Palin on March 1, 2008

Sarah Palin on 14 March 2008 - Screenshot 2
Sarah Palin on March 14, 2008

Nail  in the coffin picture - LARGE 2
Sarah Palin on March 26, 2008

Gusty pic - crop
Sarah Palin on April 13, 2008

This is just a start to the endless possibilities for cheap entertainment. I have watched many of these TLC shows, and I can tell you that no one comes out looking good. Perhaps the TLC executives see the same potential I do.

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