'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.'
'What's that mean?' asked the child.
'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.'
Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'
(YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! ! )
The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'
*****
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby
reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile
dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket
to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned,
“This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say
'1-2-3.' "
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life
and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I
stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded,
"but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full
moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved,
took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the
bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately,
he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked
"What was the 1-2-3 for?"
.
.
.
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our
sentences with a "preposition", because we could
end up with a "dangling participle".
Thank you, Mrsgunka. You are a treasure.
