Monday, 5 September 2011

Open Thread - Monday

It's time for a couple of senior jokes. Hey, they keep us young!

Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a pharmacy shop and Jack suggests they go in.

Jack addresses the man behind the counter:

"Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds "

Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jack: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "You bet!"

Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works.."

Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely.."

Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We sure do..."

Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?"

Pharmacist: "Sure."


"Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."


Bob is 87 years old and he loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up.”

He looked around and couldn’t see anyone.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.”

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

Bob said, “Are you talking to me?”

The frog said, “Yes, I’m talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be very gorgeous and sexy.

Bob looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his front pocket.

The frog said, “Hey, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful gorgeous woman!

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, “Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”