This is a very special open thread. Today is Pallottine's birthday!
Amy baked him a cake and I found some music and a few Irish jokes... Mrsgunka contributed a "senior" joke, which I tweaked a little bit.
Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on"
Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do ?"
Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how they like it!"
Pallottine goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says,
"I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'."
Pallottine obeys and says, '99'. The doctor says, "Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99'." Again, Pallottine says, '99'.
The doctor said, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.
Now, take a deep breath and say, '99'."
Pallottine begins, "One
Happy birthday, dear Irish. I hope you'll enjoy the party.