Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Dear Sarah Palin, - UPDATE

Ok, then. I believe you were indeed pregnant with Trig. There must be some explanation for you being as flat as a board right up until March 26, then ballooning into a seemingly normal pregnant woman in the space of three weeks. Every pregnancy is different, holy crap!

Fine, so when you were 35-weeks pregnant you woke up at 4 am with a strange sensation down in your belly while in Texas, sat up straight in bed, then Todd phoned your doctor, even though you felt fine. You told her you absolutely didn't want to disappoint the folks at the conference, so she told you to take it easy. Hey, every doctor is different, and yours was quite able to perform telephone examinations, why not? Sheesh!

Now Sarah, run us through your labour again. No ums and uhs and ahs. You were in love with that precious child, please God don't let anything happen to this baby. Please God, protect him! Then you gave a very important kick ass speech while having contractions and embarked on the wild ride. Awesome!

Braxton-Hicks sounds awfully good, but leaking amniotic fluid is not a run-of-the-mill occurrence if not in active labour. Shoot!

You took two long haul fights, with a two-hour layover between them and traveled another hour by road to a hospital not equipped for risky deliveries. You did all this based on telephone examinations. Holy geez!

So you were up half of the night, kicked ass with your speech, traveled all day, arrived at the hospital quite late, then put on a drip to induce the birth and gave birth at 6:30 am. A couple of hours later, you grabbed your BlackBerries to communicate with your office, signed bills and did other government business, such as deriding your perceived enemies and controlling your fake responses to media articles. Wow! Holy crap!


The majority of women, most of them younger than you, are greatly inconvenienced by childbirth and have to take time off work, costing the economy millions of dollars. Unflippinbelievable!

Do share your secret of an exceptionally comfortable, rushed pregnancy and the easiest of all your labours and deliveries. Holy moly, do it for the good of America!

Best regards,


PS - Dear Sarah, I'm sorry about some of the language, I got a bit carried away...



PPS - BTW, Sarah, where is Trig? The last time I remember seeing him was during your rousing speech to the Tea Party Express in Arizona. That was around October 22 last year. Eight months... Holy crap! You could have had another three rushed pregnancies in that time! I hope everything is ok with your precious child from God.



[Does anybody remember seeing Trig after October 2010? He didn't go on the America by Heart book tour, it was only Piper, right? Please correct me if I'm wrong.]

I stand corrected. Trig was seen in February 2011 at the Ronald Reagan ranch. Thanks to all the readers with memories better than mine...