Monday, 13 June 2011

Open Thread - Monday

Time for another dose of humour from our Mrsgunka.

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph.

He says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"

So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back...wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty-two miles an hour!" ...the old woman says a bit proudly.

The police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 is the highway number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a peep this whole time," the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Highway 189."

Thank you, Mrsgunka.


This one is another story about Grasshopper's friend Mildred:

Two elderly women, Mildred and Hazel, were out driving in a large car, barely able to see over the dashboard.

As they're driving along to the grocery store, they approach an intersection.

The light is red, but Mildred just drives on through, not hesitating for a second.

Bewildered, Hazel thinks to herself "I must be losing it. I could've sworn we just drove through a red light."

A few minutes later, they come up to another red light.

Again, Mildred drives right on through. Hazel is alarmed, but is still not sure if she's imagining things.

At the next intersection, however, Mildred drives through another red light, prompting Hazel to turn to her friend.

"Mildred, are you aware that we just ran through three red lights in a row?"

Mildred replies: "You know, I noticed that too!"

Hazel, flabbergasted, stammers, "You could have gotten us both killed!"

Mildred turns to her slowly, and says, "Me?! I thought you were driving!"