Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Hope for Sarah Palin

There's hope for Sarah Palin! Check this out:

The Mrs. Alaska United States® pageant is affiliated with the national Mrs. United States pageant. Eligibility requirements for competitors: “The Mrs. Alaska pageant requires its competitors to be at least 21 years old, a property owner or resident of Alaska, and married (no specific length of marriage is necessary). Contestants are judged on 1/4 personal interview, 1/4 swim wear, 1/4 evening gown and 1/4 on-stage question. Besides the overall title, contestants may compete in various optional competitions.”


I understand that in order to qualify as a competitor in the Mrs. Alaska United States pageant, I must abide by the following rules:
§ Entrant must be married and living with her husband.
§ Entrant must be at least 21 years of age.
§ Entrant agrees that the decisions of the judges are final.
§ Entrant must be of good moral character.
§ Entrant must be a citizen of the United States.
Entrant is defined as a naturally-born female meeting the criteria outlined in the rules and regulations.

Our Sarah is definitely over 21 and lives with the dude.

Her Personnel Board would take care of the good moral character bit.

Citizen of the United States or Alaska? Hmmm... should be OK.

The only problem would be accepting the decisions of the judges as final in case she fails yet again!

As long as the on-stage question is not about what she reads, our Sarah should be in with a chance...

If Sarah finally wins, she would be able to hang out with charming, trim guys and attend gay bashing rallies. Oh, and wear red! The t-shirt would go very well with her Franco Sarto shoes.

Image: detail of photo by Phil Munger
More testimonies on Anchorage civil rights ordinance tonight.


Anonymous said...

I think that Sarah is aiming much higher than Mrs. Alaska. I know that it's foolish to hope that she sees what a dreadful candidate she would be for governor (not again!) senator (already got an OK senator) or president (heaven forbid!).

She maybe she is auditioning for the future roll of Fox TV hostess, pick your show. She is showing that she can talk endlessly on a subject that has no substance, pick imaginary fights with someone at will, rally faithful viewers (sea4peas) to her side, and babble nonsense on a slow newsday. At Fox, she need never make sense again (as if she ever did).

She'll be perfect, and I know that she'll love the wardrobe, new hairdo, and makeover. In fact, I know how we can convince her!

Once Greta VanS was an honest to goodness lawyer giving background information on this trial or that over at CNN. Fox made her a more tempting offer. But before she took the job, Greta asked for 6 weeks prep time; she said she was just getting a few wrinkles "tucked away." If anyone can find the before and after pictures on the internet, the results are staggering! People at her own high school reunion did not recognize her; in fact, viewers had quite a time getting used to the New Greta.

So, the offer should be quietly made to Sarah: Join us, and we'll get you an appointment with Greta's guy. You can go in the back door, and no one will be the wiser. He'll take 10, OK 20 years off, you'll be gorgeous, excuse me, even more dazzling than you already are!

If we can distract Sarah with these tempting goodies, she may leave the political stage and head over to Fox. Oh what am I saying?! Then, Regina may not have anything to write about. She'll have to turn her considerable talents to poetry, short stories, fiction, sorry Regina-- we're doing this not only for the United States, but the World! It's a far far better thing I do.....

midnightcajun said...

Two problems with this: she'd have to show her bare arms (MIA since summer of 07), and she might lose to a black person. For the third time.

Anonymous said...

Can she still get into that cute pink one piece bathing suit? We won't notice her arms if she can still strut her stuff.

regina said...

Maybe she has a couple of tattoos on her arms?

Anonymous said...

.. oh, but her tight pinched hiney isnt going to fend well with the pert apple bottom booty judges look for

shes always squeezing that butt and tucking it under.. sorry i notice and im a girl! so not a perv.. shows she is always mega tense..shes gotta blow soon

basheert said...

As long as she stops trying to become something she will never become (human being), I don't care where she goes or what rock she is buried under.

Just her voice alone is enough to disqualify her from public speaking. That and her incredible stupidity.

basheert said...

Hey here's good news!

Off "SP" topic but looks like another upright conservative Republic has taken a bit out of a poison apple!!! Let's see where the moral outrage is ok?


MrsTarquinBiscuitbarrel said...

Thanks, basheert! Couldn't happen to a nicer guy... of course, I'm being facetious. John Ensign leers into my in-box regularly on behalf of the NRSC. He cheated on Darlene! With a campaign staffer!

basheert said...

Yes he did bless his little Republican conservative heart.

Everyone is hoping for a B.J. because otherwise conservatives think that adultery is fine if it's just sex, paid for, gay, or the wife is dying.

But a B.J. is a definite conservative NO NO.

wv: trips

lynnrockets said...

Just wondering, but is it time to add a new "gate" category to your list on the right side of the page? Perhaps, "LettermanGate".

the problem child said...

Following up on lynnrockets' suggestion: Humourgate. You know there is more to come, and it won't all have to do with Letterman.

(And I know we're onto something as my wv is "evell"!)

basheert said...


Or how about comedien-gate?

First Amendment Gate?

(Oh god, my WV is "rapted")

Anonymous said...

I don't think she would pass that moral character requirement after faking a pregnancy for political gain!

Anonymous said...

Tonight, David Letterman's Top Ten List is supposed to be the Top Ten Things heard at the Fire Letterman Rally (should be posted on his website tomorrow, Late Show with David Letterman). He got his highest rating, beating Conan Monday night of the Big Apology. Thanks, Sarah! (The protest is reported as 50 people, but one NY paper said that there were 15 protesters and 35 media people. A New Yorker joked that in NYC, you can get 50 people at an intersecton, just waiting to cross when the light turns green).
You have to laugh; my WV=joketi
Too bad Sarah can't take a joke.

basheert said...

From Huffpo (here it is folks - 15 protestors, the rest were media):

Letterman protest draws more media than activists
Posted: 09:04 PM ET
Fifteen protesters showed up Tuesday outside of the studio where David Letterman tapes his talk show program.
Fifteen protesters showed up Tuesday outside of the studio where David Letterman tapes his talk show program.

NEW YORK (CNN) — A protest rally against David Letterman over a failed joke about Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her daughter attracted more members of the media than protesters Tuesday afternoon.

A crowd of 15 protesters upset with the late night comic held signs and occasionally shouted as they stood across the street from Letterman's studio.

But they were often hidden from view by the more than 35 members of the media there to cover the protest, and out-shouted by a few very vocal counter-protesters.

Radio talk show host John Ziegler — who is behind the FireDavidLetterman.com Web site that organized the protest, and who is an outspoken supporter of the former Republican vice presidential candidate — told reporters that the turnout at the event was not representative of the number of people who have responded to his site and e-mailed.

He also argued that Letterman should have been fired, and the only reasons that he hasn't been fired were "the media's love of David Letterman and the media's distrust and, I believe, hatred of Sarah Palin."

He also called Letterman's apology — issued on Monday's program and accepted by Palin — bogus and said that the comedian should make a charitable donation to an organization of Palin's choosing.

Ziegler made a film about the 2008 presidential campaign called "Media Malpractice: How Obama Got Elected and Palin Was Targeted."

FEDUP!!! said...

"said that the comedian should make a charitable donation to an organization of Palin's choosing"

ROFLMAOPIMP!!!! What would she choose?
Her Alaska Defense Fund (or whatever she calls it - the one that gives her all the $$$ she might want ostensibly to defend herself against lawsuits? Or outright her PAC?

Wonder why Ziegler does not ask HER to donate some $$ to some womens rights group, or some rape victims group!

LisanTX said...

Someone posted on another blog that wouldn't it be great if Letterman sent a check to Celtic Diva to cover the state's charges for FOIA documents! I think that would be very cool.

Anonymous said...

@Basheert: Huffington Post has a similar account of the Fire Letterman Rally, include a report of a video made by NY Magazine. Angry people called Letterman and his family disgusting names, describing his child as born out of wedlock as b*******. Letterman married his long time girl friend recently, so the kid doesn't deserve the nasty name. They also called his wife a slut. She has been with Letterman for 23 years! On the other hand, Bristol wrote an entry for her My Space where she actually says, "I am such a slut!" Signs in the Fire Letterman Rally accused Dave of being a pervert and a sex offender.

So it is clear what Sarah Palin's talent for the Mrs. Alaska show will be. She can take any crowd of people and turn them into rabid dogs going on the attack, using the most fowl, thoughtless language.

You see, they forgot that it is Bristol who has the b-child born and still out of wedlock. Todd used the word "rape" not Letterman. Sarah is the one who could get a crowd to chant "Kill Him." To inspire this kind of madness reminds me of films that I have seen of Hitler, commanding the same kind of mindless hate.
Sarah Palin is one dangerous person! Thank goodness only 15 people responded to her cause-- this time.

Patrick said...

Hi everybody,

I would like to tell you that the address of my twitter has changed. The new address is:


Twitter is a great tool! Anybody should use it.

basheert said...

Hi Patrick: Sorry I haven't developed much of an interest in Twitter yet! But I'll check it out.

SP will never amount to anything. She has nothing. She offers nothing. She represents nothing.

The fact that apparently the entire family drags drugged babies to press events is reprehensible.

And face it, she's WAY too old and haggard to run as Mrs. Alaska. Evil does have a way of giving itself away.

MrsTarquinBiscuitbarrel said...

Thanks, Patrick! You are my introduction to Twitter, given that what you have to say, I want to read!

I also think that it would be indescribably delicious if David Letterman paid for Celtic Diva's Kinko's bill from the state of Alaska.

WV: stori (What a stori! With SP-level spelling!)

b-p-p said...

Thanks Patrick! Missed you!

FEDUP!!! said...

Patrick (or anyone who knows): How does Twitter work? Is there a way for us to respond to you on there?

Patrick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Patrick said...


It's an akward thing with the responses on twitter. If you have a twitter account, you can actually press "reply" if you see a twitter-message that you like. If the person who sent the original message then will actually SEE the reply is another thing - probably just if he/she is "following you" on Twitter. I can understand that there is no other solution, because otherwise celebrities would probably receive thousands of replies in their twitter box each day.

I will now as a general rule follow everybody who follows me, so I should receive the replies then (unless it's somebody who sends 20-30 twitter messages a day....sorry!).

There is also the possibility to send a private message to the other user over twitter.

What you often see is that people press "reply" and then include the original message, as a form of reposting this message in order to spread it further. This seems to be usual practice on twitter.

All of these free communication tools should be used by anybody who wants to have a "voice" in cyberspace. The beauty of twitter is that it doesn't take a lot of your time, but allows you to spread messages quickly to a wide audience. The importance of twitter will certainly increase constantly.

For posting links in twitter I recommend to use www.tinyurl.com.